Archive for January, 2005

Lucky

I am lucky to have great friends.

Everyone has different sets of friends, and different level of closeness. Those who you can bare your soul to and share secrets with. Those who you’d bare your soul to but won’t tell them any secrets because you are afraid you’d hurt them in the process. Those who you’d see once a year, and yet you can turn to at any moment for excellent guidance and advice, and they’d come through for you. Those who you party with and you know they’d hold you hair back while you puke, or guard the bathroom when the door wouldn’t close, but you can’t really share much with them because neither one of you would remember it the next day, or you’d share everything with them because neither one of you would remember it the next day. Those whose company you enjoy so much yet there was not much in common except for the hours of good times spent.

Etc.

I’ve got them all. And I couldn’t ask for more.

It hasn’t been an easy year for me, this 2005. I know, it’s not even a month yet. There are a lot of changes I am going through in my life, emotionally and otherwise. It has seem that I have lost myself somewhere in the past few years, and now I am in search of it again.

I have returned to dance, my first love. Music, my solace, my home, has become a strange place, but I am still going there because it still brings me joy like nothing else. I have picked up writing again as well.

These are the elements of me. And there are more of me I have yet to let fly.

And you, my friends, have aided me along in your own ways.
For those with whom I have shared the joy (Yey, Leinart!), melancholy, and anger and frustration, especially since the beginning of this year, I am forever in your debt. Your kind words of wisdoms and gentle encouragements work wonders for my weary soul.

Leinart STAYS!

Heisman winner Leinart staying at USC

I knew it! A gazillion dollars can’t pry a true Trojan from a shot at the three-peat National Champion!

We love you, Matt!

Juliet - Work in Progress

Really short story, inspired by something pink that was hanging in the closet. Brandon thinks I’m nuts.

Please comment. You can be honest. Lord knows, my self esteem already hits rock bottom. You can’t make it go lower than that.

*Update* I keep revising this thing. So the version you’re reading is the most current. Hopefully it will be fully finished at some point. Haha!

Here goes:

JULIET

Annie peeks over the planters filled with lively purple pansies, and over the edge of the white marble balcony. Eight feet below, on the lush green lawn, her older brothers are waving gleefully. She blinks at them, twirling her pink Hello Kitty umbrella on her shoulder, with a look of uncertainty on her face.

Why wasn’t I born a boy? Annie asks herself just then, tilting her head as she looks at her two older brothers, 10 year old Alex and 8 year old Kit. Look at them down there, she thinks, running around in the soccer jerseys from their, and Thailand’s, favorite teams of 1980 era, Liverpool and Brazil. Mommy won’t let me own a soccer jersey. Soccer jerseys are for boys, she said. Since I can’t go play in my pretty powder blue sun dress, Alex makes Kit loan me his Manchester United jersey. Eww. I’m wearing the enemy’s jersey that’s not even mine, perching on a balcony.

Annie’s face suddenly lights up at the thought. A balcony.

Isn’t that where Juliet wait for her Romeo, on a balcony?

Then indeed, I am Juliet! I have the long flowing hair. It’s not blonde, but I think Romeo would mind. I even have a pretty umbrella! Perhaps I can toss my long hair down to Romeo so he could climb up and rescue me from my wicked stepsisters. We can then defeat the evil queen together with my umbrella! What a brilliant…

“Yo! Annie! We don’t have all day.”

“See? We did it! It’s okay. Follow us.”

“Use the umbrella, Annie. Remember Mary Poppins?”

“Come on. We have to go find Grand Master Liang on the Cherry Blossom Island.”

Annie’s brothers are waiting for her, the Grand Master Liang’s daughter, the legendary heroine, the key to the secret knowledge of the Drop Dead Stone Touch, according to the Hong Kong kung fu soap they are watching at night, “Legend of the Jade Dragon Sword”. If Annie’s brothers are good, Mommy would let them watch the whole show which ends at 8 p.m. Because all three of them share the nursery, Annie gets to watch the show too. If the boys misbehave, they would only get the first 15-30 minutes of the show, and have to watch the rest on VHS after school the next day.

On the weekend, the children get to make their own episode. Their “house”, a part of the three three-storey town homes that made up their residence, becomes the locations of the kung fu epic. The Cherry Blossom Island is the garden area under this big tree that blooms purple flowers twice a year. The House of the Jade Dragon is, of course, Annie’s house. The servant passage way on the ground floor is the secret tunnels under the city where they could find a gang of beggar-warriors.

On a typical Sunday, after the morning cartoons, the whole family gathers at Grandmother’s dining room for Sunday brunch. The kids, rounded up by their nannies and herded into either Grandma’s living room, or back into the dining room at Annie’s house for the kiddy version of the same meal cooked up by the family cook in the main kitchen, directly below Grandmother’s quarter. After the meal, the children visit with Grandmother and off they go to their weekly adventure. They romp through the vast backyard, kicking up dust in the graveled office parking lot, scaling along the wall of the back alley under the laundry lines, and up “the Tower” to the fourth floor office.

Annie’s cousins are at their grandparents today, or else they would have the full cast of the Jade Dragon. Nonetheless, it is still fun with only the three main characters.

Alex, athletically graceful, assigns himself the blade master antagonist. His sidekick of the day, the plumper and kinder Kit, is the farm boy with a good heart and quick footwork in training with the master. If their cousins are playing with them, as the youngest boy, Kit usually ends up playing the evil Grand Master Liang. (Today is supposedly played by the gardener.) He is especially thrilled today to get to be a good guy for once. As for the role of the heroine, the sassy, genius daughter of the grand master, of course, falls on the girl with the longest hair, just like the TV character, Annie.

But today, Annie doesn’t want to be a high flying martial artist. She wants to be Juliet. And Juliet doesn’t jump off balconies.

As when Annie begins to turn around, and her brothers’ encouragement starts to sound like heckling, she is reminded that if she doesn’t follow the boys today, she will be left alone for the rest of the afternoon. If she abandons them now, the heir to the Cherry Blossom Island in their book will be lost at sea in this chapter. Who knows if she would return next Sunday, or the Sunday after that.

Boys don’t play dolls, Annie knows that. If she wants company, she will have to run with the wolf pack. It has to be the adventures with Alex and Kit, or tea party with her stuffed animals in her room.

Annie turns around, and edges forward. She makes eye contact with her brothers down below, tightening the grip on her umbrella.

I will be Juliet tomorrow, Annie chants softly to herself. I can wear the pretty blue dress, standing on the balcony, waiting for my Romeo tomorrow.

When she leaps off the balcony with Hello Kitty flutters above her head, it hits her.

Tomorrow is Monday.

Beautiful Mind

Christopher E. Long, the most lovable bald mofo I’ve known, makes his first interview for The Comic Wire. Get a peek of the story of his upcoming comic “Easy Way”, and a glimpse into the mind of a brilliant writer. Congratulations, bro!

A shameless plug, of course. Well, again, if you’re a friend of the OakMonster, there ain’t not shame in plugging you here at the Den!

Anyways. Watch for “Easy Way” in the comic aisle this April, y’all.

Ouch

Yeah so I’m sitting here reading the thing I posted yesterday. I hear this little voice in my head says, “SNAP OUT OF IT, you pessimistic, low self esteem, borderlining suicidal bitch.”

That’s probably Jenny. No voices in my head is that demanding. Or bitchy.

So yeah. I think I’ll snap out of it eventually. Not very promising at this time though.

But how does one become a writer?

Do I start by taking creative writing classes? Does it begin from reading so many books you start to write out things you would want to read? Where do I buy a writer’s hat or a thinking cap?

And will I ever get over the itsy bitsy nagging tiny details of occasional grammatical blunders and atrocious sentence forming sprouting from having English as a second language?

Guide me, oh great ones out there?

What if…

What if you’re not destined to greatness? What if you never get anywhere in life but where you are today? Corporate ladder never climbed. Managerial positions never achived.

What if you are a failure but you just haven’t realized it yet?

Those are a few questions I have asked myself everyday in the past week.

People around me seem to all have things to do and places to go. People getting promoted, loving their jobs. People doing what they love and getting paid for it. Friends achieving their life goals of being a writer, a filmmaker, a world traveler etc.

And I am just here. Toiling away at my work that is going nowhere. Banging on a piano, strumming my guitar, and singing my lung out as I usually do and still sound like a duck being forced into a pot of boiling water. Okay. At LEAST I’m better than Ashlee Simpsons, I know that. Working on songs I wrote years ago and crinching every time I play it out loud. Writing poems that read like a high school junior’s crush journal.

What if I’m just not blessed with the creative talents I have made myself believe I have? What if all of this is just me pretending to be creative?

What if my mother is right about keeping all of my “creativity” to myself? Has she always known that I have no talent, but she didn’t want to hurt my feelings? Have people only being nice to me out of pity because I don’t have anything else other than these false sense of importance to hold on to?

The girl’s damn awkward, short, and stupid. Let just leave her to the piano and the writing, at least she’d think she’s doing something right.

Rainy days. These are the days that bring out the worse case of self doubt, insecurity, and sense of failure.

Rainy Days and Fridays

Today’s Timeline

12:00 noon. No paycheck at paycheck time. That happened before, so no biggy.

3:30 p.m. Exec. Assistant/Billing Lady called the Boss to ask about the paycheck and to remind him of Oakley’s leaving at her usual time at 4:30. No answer.

4:30 p.m. Oakley left work empty handed.

5:15 p.m. Oakley was informed that paychecks would be available around 5:30 or later.

5:45 p.m. Oakley was informed that the Office Assistant had left to get the paycheck 15 minutes away. Oakley headed back to the office where the entire staff, except the Romanian, was still waiting.

6:00 p.m. We were informed that Office Assistant arrived at the Accountant’s house. No one was there. So he waited.

6:30 p.m. A Writer left. The rest remained in the office. The Office Assistant remained outside the Accountant’s house.

7:00 p.m. We were informed that the Accountant had arrived, and that he was just beginning to print out the checks. Some of the staff members gathered to watch “Sanford & Son” on DVD.

7:15 p.m. The Romanian was called back to the office to fill out other paperwork to correct the mistakes on his paycheck. The Accountant could not continue past him unless the information was corrected. The Romanian’s last name starts with a “C”.

7:30 p.m. Communication to the Boss via Exec. Assistant yielded an expense authorization for Oakley to get pizzas and get cash reimbursement on Monday.

8:00 p.m. Oakley and coworkers picked up the pizza.

8:05 p.m. Paycheck arrived. Pizza was consumed.

8:20 p.m. Office closed.

Brilliant Job Ad

From Monster.com.

Art Sales & Marketing
Company: Art Brokerage Inc.
Location: Torrance, CA 90505
Level: Experienced (Non-Manager)
Education Level: Some College Coursework Completed

Art & Entertainment company is Looking for a highly motivated sales and marketing individule with positive attitude. Need to be an excellent communicator with strong computer skills to use the web, database, word, excel, graphic skills a plus.

If you do not have what it takes to succeede don’t apply.

So “what it takes to succeede” is the ability to spell. Or how to use spell check.

Khun Poomi

San Diego Union Tribune reported on the life and time of Khun Poomi.

WHO-IS-YOUR-DADDY!

Undisputed National Champion

LA Times: Conquest!

ESPN Magazine: “USC did everything but give the Sooners a wedgie. “

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