OakMonster’s Den

Okay. I’m talking girly stuff here. Very unusual for me so please don’t hurt yourself laughing.

I went to my first Mary Kay party and was taught make up techniques by former Miss America.

I’m sorry to say that I HATE the eye make up she did for me. I agree that the indigo liner brings out my eyes, but man do you have to apply it that thick?

I don’t wear make up. Not to work. Not anywhere. 99% of the time. All I put on in the morning is moisturizer and SPF 30 lightly tinted sun block on top of that. Until recently, I added a quick sweep over my face with Neutrogena mineral powder.

I wear make up, as in full blown with foundation and all, once or twice a year. When going out–which is not often–I’d do a little cheeks and a little lips. I’ve been wearing glasses these days, it doesn’t matter what I have on my eyes. Besides, the mascara’ed and curled lashes hit the glasses. But that’s it.

I HATE make up. Then again, with my face, I don’t really need it. Thank goodness for the darker features.

Anyhoo. So that was the makeover party which I discovered lip mask that is cheaper than Benefit and works as well, and the cranberry lip gloss is wonderful. Not sticky at all and makes me look purrrty. And those were the only 2 things I bought.

I also love their foundation and foundation/powder which matches my skin more perfectly than anything I’ve bought from RiteAid. But for my level of usage, it’s just not worth buying a bottle. I’d stick with my $8 a tube per year.

And yes, I have the picture of the “after”. But y’all won’t be see THAT. I’ll put it up for auction for the Weevils next year or something. LOL.

To tide me over for the past 2 days of no football, Tall Greg sent me this:

Somalia Defeats Rwanda To Win Third-World Cup

And now I’m watching in horror as Argentina is kicking Germany’s butt all over the field. Germany’s playing like their minds are elsewhere while Argentina wants to win so bad it hurts to watch them make mistakes. Will update on the score in a few minutes here as they’re going into a shoot-out.

*UPDATE* Germany won in the penalty kick shoot-out, scoring 4 to Argentina 2. Yey!!! And the reason why I’m rooting for Germany is I want to see Germany v.s. Brazil match up for the final!

It’s Brandon’s birthday today, y’all! I LOVE YOU, B!

If you’re on MySpace, find him through my friends list, and wish him a fantastic birthday.

What is he getting for his birthday? Well, he’s buying one of them PDA cellphone a-magicky. And me saying yes to that is my gift to him.

As for party plan, there’s nil. Mr. Old Fart doesn’t want to party this year. Hahah! So I’m making a grand dinner tonight: Guy Fieri’s Bloody Mary Flank Steak meal completed with parmesan Tater Tots, and, this one’s for me, salad with blue cheese, grilled red onion, and bacon vinaigrette. Hopefully it’ll all turn out good for my birthday boy.

Today I assisted Tiffany to cross over to the dark side of the internet. We started little miss “Oh I’m so not a geek” on her very own blog. And over email, I even taught her to edit her sidebar!

Welcome to the Blogosphere, Tif!

And speaking of Darth, look what I’m getting for Frenchy for his 30th birthday this weekend?

Yeah. Darth Tater, baby!

I talked to my mom last night.

Yes. TALKED!

I called my dad apparently right after the doctor has left. My mom was being moved from the nursing home–for Bangkokians, that’s a semi-hospital specialized in older folks–to local hospital where mom has been receiving cancer treatment. The doctors are extremely happy with her progress. She’s adjusted quite well and therapy is working wonderfully.

Dad said he’d put her on the phone really quick. Mom can talk but keep in mind that her left side isn’t moving with her. So it comes out a little slurry and mumbly. But that was probably the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard thus far.

And here’s how our conversation went. You’d have to imagine her slurred speech on your own there…

Mom: Hi sweetie.

Me: Hi Mommy. I’ve missed you! So, you’re doing good, sounds like?

Mom: Honey. They’ve been so mean to me. You have to help me.

Me: What?

Mom: They won’t let me get up to go to the bathroom.

Me: Well, in that case, just pee on them. That’ll get them to let you up.

Mom: [Laugh]

Me: And next time, if you don’t want to talk to me on the phone, just don’t answer it, okay? Getting stroke and hiding from me in a hospital is NOT going to work.

Mom: [Laugh]

So, yeah. Her sense of humor is intact.

Thanks again for your thoughts and prayers. Like I told Chris Cactus, positive thinking works even half a world away!

Also, AIDS Walk went well. Please see the Weevil Blog for that.

My life finally returns to a more normal pace. Thank goodness. I hid inside all day on Sunday, coming out briefly with Brandon to go grocery shopping. I did absolutely nothing. I needed one whole day to recharge after all the shananigan this past week.

And tomorrow morning, it’s Brazil v.s. Ghana. In the words of Stephen Colbert, “you’re not Ghana win, anyway!” Go Brazil!

First of all, let me say hello to new lurker, my ever so wonderful Aunty Tim. /wave.

THE CONFESSION

I may be in a little bit of a pickle with my family–really close family friends–here because I blogged about my mom’s condition before I called anyone else.

I hope they’d understand that I wanted to wait out a few days to hear a better diagnosis before I call my family. According to dad, we wouldn’t know anything until 72 hours after her stroke. I only know so much and I panicked and worried already. I didn’t see why I should be spreading that to the aunties and have them worried too.

Not to say that you, my casual readers, wouldn’t worry about my mom. But seriously, we both know that the level of you worrying about my mother versus close family friends and relatives are different.

“So, you’re saying you don’t want your family to know, but yet you blogged about it. That doesn’t make a lot of sense!”

Exactly. Here’s why.

My dad doesn’t have time to be cruising the internet. My mom doesn’t even get near a computer. My brothers are too busy to be wasting their time here although Onk does stop by once in a while. And, up until now, nobody in the family really comes here or know of this blog’s existence. And I kind of like it that way.

But the cover’s blown now. *shrug* The blog will go on as usual. Well, maybe with a bit more self censorship but it will NOT affect my style. I promise. You will still come by and get the same dose of the Oakmonster as you’ve been getting prior to today.

Fuck yeah! ;-D

While on that subject: Please, if you’re in anyway related to me, for the love of all things good, don’t tell my parents about a certain procedure Brandon had a month ago. We’re sticking with “we’re not having kids” defense over here. And that is all.

I hope that clears it up.

THE UPDATE

According to Onk, mom has improved quite a bit. She is in wonderful spirit. He claimed to have teased her about something and she kicked him with her right foot…which I sure could see happening.

With Onk in his true form, he could make you want to kick his ass so bad you’ll come out of paralysis. LOL. That’s what we love about him. Ever such a jester.

The fact that both dad and my brother are joking about mom now that means she’s doing great. Not a single joke for the past few days and now they seem to be teasing mom a lot…which means she could take the jokes and therefore doing well.

The doctors are happy with her progress, he said. Therapy is going well. It does leave mom tired and a bit pooped out at the end of the day. But in the mornings she’s pretty perky.

So, folks. Your well wishes and prayers have worked their wonders. My mom is quiet literally kicking ass. And I thank you.

1. Thank you everyone for your thoughts and prayers for my mom. Last I heard, we have to wait until her brain is not as swollen. So far, what is certain is that a) cancer is definitely under control, and b) mom’s left side is paralyzed. The extent of damage to the brain and how long it’ll take her to get back to normal is still to be determined.

2. It’s been an INSANE week since the news of mom’s stroke at 2 a.m. Tuesday night. First, Tuesday is prep day for our monthly board meeting. I was at work until 7 p.m.

3. Second, board meeting day starting with me waking up at 4:30 a.m. The meeting went well, but on top of that I have the task to make happen the retirement party with the staff for our former CEO on Wednesday. I was shopping for 2 hours after getting off work at 3:30, looking for gag gifts.

4. Thirdly, I finished all the gifts and arrangements at the party. Dinner went well. Gifts were well received. Staff were all toasted and had a wonderful time. Ah. The wonder of open bar! A bit of a dispute with the bill when they served us their most expensive wines without even asking me first.

5. Finally, a more quiet day at work. Yet, so much to do.

6. And oh yeah, AIDS Walk is tomorrow.

Good night, y’all. Will catch up with full report on Sunday.

Good news:

Mom sounded great on Saturday. She’s starting to eat again. The cancer in her liver has shrunk to smaller than a millimeter. Nothing returns anywhere in her body. In this case, they’d stop chemo and switch her to oral medication.

Bad news:

2 a.m. last night my dad called. The maid found mom on the floor by the bed walking in circle in the living room. She was conscious but couldn’t move her left side. It appeared to be a stroke. She just came out of CATscan half an hour ago. My dad will call in to report the progress. A friend of my brother is a neurologist and his theory is that it’s a blood clot that lodge in her brain blood vessel, not a stroke.

Good news:

Mom is stablized. And alive. And apparently stubborn as hell as she could be sometimes. She needed to stay still and rest, but she had been trying to get up and wouldn’t go to sleep. So yeah, she’s fighting it.

Bad news:

She’d probably never full recover. But we don’t know that just yet.

And finally…

Bad news:

On my way into work this morning, a fist fight broke out on the train in my car. 3 scrawny blakc kids and one big black kid. I was going to run out the door too, but the fight already travelled all the way to where I was and I couldn’t get around them to get out. So all I could do is stood up and tried to blend into the wall right where I stood. Thank god no one has any weapons or anything. Because I’m fucking right next to the action.

Good news:

I don’t ride the blue line any more. Except for a rare occasion like this morning. And I’m safe.

Pray for my mom, y’all. I know you’ve been praying already. And I thank you.

Pearls Before Swine has become my other favorite comic strip. The other ones being Foxtrot and Non Sequitor.

[Missing a strip about bloggers here.]
Well, speaking of strip. I do have to write about this incident before it’s too old.

Last weekend, Brandon and I got of the 405 heading to Huntington Beach. The traffic at the exit was busy, and then we saw a firefighter walking on the median. An accident, maybe? But we couldn’t see any fire engine anywhere.

When we turned at the light, we saw another firefighter holding with one hand a sign that said, “Raising Fund for So and So” and the other a firefighter’s boot. Brandon handed me a $5 bill. I rolled down the window and stuck my hand out with the bill held between my index and middle fingers.

A big smile came across the firefighter’s face. He trotted over with the boot, and chuckled a bit when he said thank you and have a great day. I dropped the bill into his boot and said good luck. He trotted past our car to the next one.

Brandon glanced back over the rear view mirror and apparently the other firefighter was laughing and in turn our guy started laughing too.

And then it hit Brandon.

B: “Wait a minute. Did you just stripper-bill the fireman??”

Me: “Huh? What?”

Oh my god. I DID fold the bill horizontally the way they do it at strip club and held it out in quite the same manner. Completely unaware of that just a few seconds ago.

Me: “*Gasp* Oh. My. God. I DID. I just fucking stripper billed a fireman!! And he was just raising money probably for an injured or dead friend!”

B: [Laughing hysterically] I was wondering why they were laughing after he walked away.

Oh my god. I am SO embarrassed. So so so so embarrassed.

But hey, it could’ve been worse. I mean, I could’ve tucked the bill into this t-shirt collar or under the suspender thing…

Don’t EVER log in to work email on a weekend again. Never ever. Never ever gets curious to see if everything the boss needs is in place after you’ve left on Friday.

(I know, I know. If something else was needed Friday, I am indeed in no position to fix anything. But hey, I have the weekend to think about how I can fix it and do it the moment I walk in the door on Monday.)

Curiosity, indeed, kills the cat. In my case today, the cat being having a good weekend…well, alright, Saturday night and Sunday morning.

I do feel a little better now that I had a good time at the beach and talked with a few friends.

Oh, and Happy Father’s Day. Especially to RUDE CACTUS and MIKE—your first Father’s Day!!!

And speaking of the Cat that Curiosity Killed, that was the speech given at my “cousin’s” graduation ceremony yesterday at UC Irvine.

And I said cousin in quote because she’s not my blood cousin but a friend of the family. Well, my aunty is not my blood aunty, so therefore her kids would be my “cousins”. You know the Asian relativity theory. Everyone is “Aunty” or “Uncle”. May’s family is pretty much my only close “relative” in this side of the world, so yeah we’re all related in that sense.

Anyhoo, back to the cat.

Her speech was an advice to the Social Ecology grads to base your life’s decision on the scientific way of thinking. Ask 2 questions. First, what is the evidence? And second, what is REALLY the evidence. i.e. would a witness testimonial be correct enough to use as an evidence? That kind of thing.

So, in a kitchen sat a young son and his mother. He was in trouble for something, and mom’s last word was it’s the curiosity that kills the cat. The boy looks up at his mother and asks, “What cat? Do you know that cat? Do you know its name? What color was it? Have you actually seen a cat die of curiosity? Do you know how old it is when it died because it could have died of old age and not curiosity.”

So there you go.