Torn

Sunday. Justin graduated from medical school and Olaina finally became a doctor’s wife.

Monday. Brandon set off to Pennsylvania.  It was his dad’s birthday.

Today.  Brandon’s grandfather passed away.  It is also Brandon’s little niece Cheyenne’s birthday.

Tomorrow. Brandon’s niece Lauren graduates from high school.

The funeral is set for Saturday afternoon.

It’s a heart wrenching week all around for Brandon.  I am all this far away and my heart is heavy for him.  I want to be right over there and just hold the man for a little while, the way he was there to hold me when I came home the day mom died.  This is what it means that you want to be with someone so badly it physically hurts.

I did look into a flight out of here, but Brandon insisted that I stay put.  They can’t possibly add another body into grandma’s house at this point.  And another body is just going to be too many cooks in the kitchen.

Please continue to send more love and good mojo to Brandon and his family.  I really appreciate it.

Forget it

The past three hours, I remember nothing of my past and impending sleepless nights, of work, of life.

The past three hours, I made new memories with 3 girl friends over a bottle of wine, two buckets of garlic fries, a bowl of mussels, and a few plates of crepes.

Lupe, Aurora, Lee and I went out for the “not girls night out” dinner at Le Creperie in Belmont Shore.

It’s a totally Sex and the City moment, substituting sex talk with baby talk, work gossip and crazy observation of people.  LOL.

At some point, we almost forgot we were here.  The decor and the atmosphere didn’t quite transport us to France but it took us somewhere else entirely.  It was noisy in a good way–filled with conversations, laughter and piano music.

Once in a while, all you need is your girls to rediscover joy.

P.S. I was just talking to Brandon that I need to find a good piano lounge around here to go hang out at.  Me and a glass of wine, listening to the real master makes a baby grand sings.  Le Creperie is just the ticket.

A day in contrast

Sad: Dropped Brandon off at the airport this morning. Poor thing.

Glad: Had lunch with Nora in Irvine since I was already in the area. It’s good to return the favor.

Splurge: While waiting to go have lunch with Nora in Irvine, I ended up at the Container Store. Those of you who have been there know that when you go in for one thing, you come out with much more. I went in for two bottles of Mrs. Myers dish soaps. I came out with kitchen wrapper organizer (badly needed), closet organizers to replace my giant plastic tub that threatens to kill me every time I pull off the top shelf, sturdy clear plastic baskets for the hard to reach part of my top pantry shelves, and a travel clothing organizer to keep Brandon’s shirts from wrinkling for his next trip…which is at the end of the month.

Saving: Bought a pair of low heel brown shoes for $25 down from $60 and therefore save buying one new suit.

Fate: Someone tapped Brandon 0n the shoulder to get into her seat on the plane Cincinnati to Harrisburg. He looked up to see his mom.

Planned: Half of the things I want to get done today is done. The other half starts to look every unappealing.

Productive: Got to organizing the pantry less Brandon’s top shelf full of tools. I seriously cannot see what I’m reaching for out there. There was a moment I was going to stack my stepping stool on a chair, but since there’s no one here to call 911 if I fall, I didn’t. Also put together the first set of closet organizer and put the plastic wraps and parchment papers etc. in place.

Procrastinate: Took a break and channel surfed. Still haven’t put the closet organizer in the closet yet. I guess blogging is considered a part of this category. Now that I’ve been watching the cooking shows, I think I need to eat dinner and get started on the cookies.

Dread: 10 dozen of the Weevil Cookies I have to bake tonight.

Anticipation: That’s $150 for AIDS Walk Long Beach right there, baby!

Active: My roller skates totally rocked. I rolled out down the street with Brandon yesterday to the pharmacy and looped around the apartment parking lot for a bit. At least I seemed to remember how to do this. My body is loving a little exercise too.

Inactive: As predicted, ankle swells up just a wee little bit. Not painful to walk on but I wasn’t going to skate today even though the procrastination totally is cheering me on. Besides, the lot is kind of busy today with the neighbors downstairs moving and the other tenant getting all of his crap out of the garage.

Okay. Okay. I’ll stop stalling now.

*sigh* So much to do on my day off.

Sleepless nights

We’re once again on death watch as Brandon’s grandfather who has Alzheimer is hospitalized.  We don’t really know how many hours, days, weeks he has because, apparently, the doctor has been giving different information to different family members.

With Grandpa’s death watch, we didn’t get to be with Justin and Olaina on his graduation this morning.  Nor will we be at Brandon’s niece high school graduation on Thursday.

Brandon is going to be out to Pennsylvania tomorrow to be with his mom and grandmother.  If the funeral happens then, it happens then.  If it doesn’t, at least he was there to help around the house, and say his final goodbye.

His grandfather was diagnosed with Alzheimer several years ago.   Brandon said that he and Grandpa had already had their heart-to-heart back then.  He didn’t want Brandon to see him when he lost himself, and they said goodbye then.  However, Grandpa did come to our wedding and he was mostly lucid then.

That was the only time I ever met the man Brandon admires so much.  It was an honor.

With Brandon gone, I’m not going to get any sleep this week.  Heck, I can’t even go to sleep right now.

Neither could he.