It’s a big, big world

Just got back from my optometrist. I am wearing my new astigmatism-corrected contact lenses. EVERYTHING looks bigger than before. I mean, my computer screen looks like font size 14 instead of 12. Well, fuck. The monitor itself even looks bigger than last night! The Vitamin Water bottles in the store, the same size as what I have at home, look huge. My judgment on dimension is a little off right now so I keep banging into things…which makes me feel like the things ARE bigger. Even myself looks bigger. Thicker, I should say. Good lord. I get to walk around...
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Here’s what you’ve missed

Gosh. Only if I have all the time in the world! Then you would’ve known that in the past few weeks, I have… *UPDATE*…nearly fallen off my chair when Brandon called me. “You wouldn’t believe what just happened,” he said. As he was leaving to go to his side job client’s office 2 Fridays ago, he felt something flew by his head into the apartment. He thought, well damn, that’s a big moth. He looked back inside. For a brief moment, he made eye contact with a hummingbird who perched on our bookshelf for a second before flitting off around...
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So much to say

Yet not enough time. I’ve found myself coming up with all of these things I want to share with you guys. The nuances of funnies. The interestingly psychotic rant on nonsensical stuff. An old poem I found scribbled on a back of a napkin from what feels like gazillion years ago in college. This. That. And other. But there is just not enough time. Or opportunity to do so. If I post 3 times a day, not to mention that I would raise much suspicion and ire from my bosses (hi Demi Boss and Lady Boss), but that feels too...
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I believe you have my red stapler

At the Accounting Guy’s desk. Me: Hey, here’s the paperwork. Can I borrow your stapler for a sec? Him: *Hands over this: Me: DUDE!!!!!! Him: What? Me: You own a fucking red Swingline?!?! Him: Isn’t this cool? You never see a red stapler in the store… Me: *Jaw drops to the floor* Him: …I bought it from Costco the other day for $10… Me: *jaw stills on the floor* Him: …See? It came with this mini stapler and a remover. It’s a very good deal. What? Me: Obviously, you have not seen Office Space. Him: No…? Me: *Briefly explains the...
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Secrets at the Library Bar

Party at the Library Bar last night? Fan-fucking-tastic! Here’s a proof. Oh no. You will not be seeing the rest of the pictures from last night here. Folks will be lining up to sue my ass. LOL. Much fun for all last night. Over 20 people came to send off the Big Boss. THAT was the biggest unofficial gathering I’ve ever had! Lots of beer and martinis were consumed. Even the BB got into the action, sipping a glass of 1903, his 3rd drink in 10some years! (By the way, that 1903 beer is fucking awesome.) The rest of us...
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