Feeling lonely in a room filled with people.

It’s a cliché. And I’m living it.

I am working in a friendly environment, sometimes chitchatting away with my coworkers in the next cubes. But something is missing with them. Then again, only a few people at my new work share my interests. No one is this geeky. Or random.

I miss my old coworkers so much sometimes it physically hurts. Angela, my former manager, said it best that we could never find such camaraderie again anywhere else we go. We, first and most importantly, all shared the common hatred of the work place. We bonded under atrocity that was the Big Bosses’ treatment and immoral business practice. (And as to why people are still working there, it’s the money. Big Bosses’ only hold is that they pay ridiculous amount of money for people to put up with their crap. That reason alone kept me there for 2 years.) A few of us that broke away from the hell that was my former employer found ourselves huddling together once in a while as a support group, to tell ourselves the world outside is not like that. And then the rest of the bonding came easily to us. My ex-coworkers are great people.

Not to say that my new coworkers aren’t great people. They are too. But something is missing. I can’t seem to connect with them at the same level I did with the old job. I’ve managed to start getting a handful of folks out for drinks. You know, trying the drinking buddy theory. I formed a few bonds with the boys.

Yes. I’m hanging out with the boys. Again.

I’m just more comfortable hanging out with guys. A product of having 2 older brothers, I suppose. It seems I’m prone to make new “brothers”, and I do have a collection of them now. LOL.

Well that’s at work.

As for home, as much as I understand the life of a gamer’s spouse, once in a while I do feel a bit neglected. We’d be in the same room for hours, but we’re not really together. Once in a while I get jealous of the computer. Once in a while, I actually believe I deserve a little more time with my husband than this.

But that’s once in a while. Because as you know, being with a geek, you’re always come second to their other interests may it be games, Sci-Fi channel, or what have you.

Knowing that doesn’t make it hurts less when that “once in while” moment came.

In a room full of people. In the same room as Brandon. I’m lonely.

And I’m afraid to get a Prozac or something because Tom Cruise would have my head…