Signs that this week is not going well for me in polite society.

#1

Monday early morning, I was on the phone with Brandon at work. Eva had just got to the office. The night before, Brandon told me about geocaching–essentially a treasure/scavenger hunt of sort, utilizing a hand held GPS device–that his colleague has been doing and wanting to get us involved in.

Brandon: So the Colleague said you and her can go out this weekend if you want to.

Me: What? Me going out with the Colleague? Honey, are you dealing me out as your bitch?

And just as I said, “…dealing me out as…”, I spun my chair around to see Eva walking in with someone…

“…your bitch?”

The sentence ended just as Eva pointed the New Big Boss to my cubicle…

“And this is Oakley.”

Um. Doh?

#2

It was 8:35 a.m. I called James to wish him happy birthday.

James: [Groggily] What’s up, Oaks?

Me: [Sing “Happy Birthday” song.]

James: Hehe. Thanks.

Me: Did I wake you up?

James: Yeah. I usually don’t get up until 9.

Me: Oh, shit. Sorry! I thought you still have the normal people work hour. (James is a consultant.) Oh, man. I’m so sorry! I just didn’t want to miss your birthday like I missed Paul yesterday.

James: [Laughs] It’s okay. Thank you very much.

I hung up and wandered off for a bit. I came back to a message on my cellphone.

James: Hey, Oakley. It’s James. You didn’t miss Paul’s birthday. My birthday is the 14th. Today is the 13th. But thanks anyway!

Um. Doh! I thought today was the 14th.

Whoops.

So, after that, I called Paul’s cell phone and sang happy birthday on his voicemail, explaining how I woke James up instead of Paul but now I know I wasn’t late to sing him his birthday song. So there.

At least, Paul didn’t pick up the phone…so I don’t know if I woke him up or not.

#3

Late in the afternoon, Bob walked by our corner looking a little bit tired.

Eva: Bob! What’s wrong? You look like you’re a…um…[seeking for word]…you’re Thriller.

Bob/Me/Celeste: What??

Eva: You know. He looks all slow and weird…like in Thriller.

Bob: Thriller?

Me: Oh, come on, Eva! Bob doesn’t look like the undead in Thriller. Because if he was, he’d be doing THIS…

I busted a few moves in the office…as many as I could remember…and that didn’t include too much of MJ’s famous pelvic thrusts. I used to be able to do the whole opening sequence when I was a kid. dammit! I think it’s time to brush up.

Come on, everybody. It’s thriller night!