OakMonster's Den

Q&A

The Proust Questionnaire (from Vanity Fair) – Updated Feb. 2010

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?

Sitting out in a sunny front porch somewhere with wide open space, a countryside, with good friends and family, a table full of great foods and good wine. In my head, that place is Tuscany…from what I’ve seen.  I have never been there just yet but some day I will be there, I’m sure of it.  It could be anywhere sunny and warm and open.

Picture the ending scene from Anthony Bourdain’s No Reservation in Tuscany. This clip here leads up to said scene, offering a glimpse of what I am talking about.

2. What is your greatest fear?

Dying with things left unsaid. But then again, I’m also afraid of drowning and falling. AND geckos. *heebiesjeebies*

3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

I’m horribly gifted with procrastination.

4. What is the trait you most deplore in others?

Pretension.

5. Which living person do you most admire?

Those who have given up a traditional “day job” to pursue a dream AND make a living doing it.

6. What is your greatest extravagance?

Twice a year visit to Drago Centro.

7. What is your current state of mind?

Tired of all the work but excited at all the new opportunities.

8. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

Sobriety.

9. On what occasion do you lie?

When the truth hurts.

10. What do you most dislike about your appearance?

My calves. They’re beefy! Okay, they’re not ridiculously huge, but big enough that regular knee-high boots won’t fit. Big enough that if the hemline is below my knees, they look like the bottom part bowling pins.

11. Which living person do you most despise?

Any fucker making a turn without using the signal.  Pretty much most of Los Alamitos residents, I seem to notice lately.

12. What is the quality you most like in a man?

Being protective.

13. What is the quality you most like in a woman?

Nurturing.

14. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

Hell-OOOO! (as in Duh!) HEL-Lo! (as in Whoa!) Are you kidding?

15. What or who is the greatest love of your life?

Music and Brandon.

16. When and where were you happiest?

Being in Thailand this most recent trip.  Not having to lift a finger or worry about anything for a few days has always been the highlight of being home, but this time I reconnected with friends, hung out with my dad, spent time with my mom’s best buddies, and even went out with my brother and his girlfriend!  I almost didn’t want my regular life back.

17. Which talent would you most like to have?

A Whitney Houston pre-crack vocal prowess.

18. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

I’d like to have 20/20 vision.

19. What do you consider your greatest achievement?

Having learned to compromise and to be patient–learned to bend, that is.

20. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?

A cat. Or a squirrel. Any animal with a wagging tail. I want a tail I can wag, goddammit.

21. Where would you most like to live?

Out of my suitcase in hotel rooms while I travel around the world.

22. What is your most treasured possession?

My mom’s wind-up watch. It was my dad’s first gift to her. And my old passport–it has all of my travel since I was 12 in it.

23. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

When one loses all hopes.

24. What is your favorite occupation?

What I have right now as a Marketing/Event Jane of All Trades.

25. What is your most marked characteristic?

Quirkiness.

26. What do you most value in your friends?

Loyalty.

27. Who are your favorite writers?

I’m not all that well read so this list is going to be quite embarrassing: J.K. Rowling, Jim Butcher, Alice Sebold, and occasionally Dean Koontz and James Patterson. And if you’d count poet in there, Nikki Giovanni is my favorite.

28. Who is your hero of fiction?

Batman.  I’d go out and fight crimes too if I have all that money.

29. Which historical figure do you most identify with?

Dr. Who.  Well, he *is* the Time Lord!  Always running to/from something, but life’s never boring and people are getting helped along the way.

30. Who are your heroes in real life?

King Bhumibhol of Thailand. Angelina Jolie. (I know. Sue me.) American troops around the world who volunteer to serve their country and essentially the world.

31. What are your favorite names?

Leila. Aeryn. Kaylee. Austin. Nathan. Daniel.

32. What is it that you most dislike?

Repeating mechanical banging/clanging and other loud, obnoxious noises. i.e. jackhammer, leaf blower, hammering, big bike engine revving, gun shots. It sucks that I seem to like firing a gun but I HATE the noise. I suddenly wish I could have a silencer for the glock…

33. What is your greatest regret?

Not having been home with my mother when she passed away.

34. How would you like to die?

After a great meal and good times with friends.

35. What is your motto?

Everything you do can make a difference.

*

The James Lipton Ten

1. What is your favorite word?

Hoist. It just sounds SO funny to me. That, and buoy.

2. What is your least favorite word?

Famine.

3. What turns you on?

Snarky-ness. Love that dry, cynical humor.

4. What turns you off?

Rudeness.  There’s a fine line between #3 and #4 here…

5. What is your favorite curse word?

Nothing is more versatile than “fuck”.

6. What sound or noise do you love?

Little nuances of musical instruments. Like the breathy little sound of air before a saxophone note, the sound of fingers sliding over guitar strings, the small thuds of piano hammers on the strings when you lean over the open grand piano.  Also love the sound of rain, of dogs running on hardwood floor, and of bacon or steak sizzling on a hot pan.

7. What sound or noise do you hate?

See #32 above.

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

Professional musician. Okay, fine. I want to be a rock star.

9. What profession would you not like to attempt?

Politics.

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

Nirvana is actually 2 clouds east of here, but you’re welcome to come in for a while.