Napmare

So, after I blogged yesterday, I finally was tired enough to take a nap. And then, there was this dream, obviously stemming from my spending entirely too much time at work these past few days.

[Enter dream sequence]

Celeste called me on my cell phone.

“Big Boss wants you to dye the bunnies.”

“What?”

“The white bunnies. He wants you to dye them for Easter.”

“I’m not going dye the bunnies! Are you fucking kidding?”

[And at some point between here and the next scene I was suddenly in my cubicle and Celeste was standing there.]

“But he really wants them done, Oaks. Like, today.”

“Hell. No. I’m not going to dye any bunnies. Not ever.”

Celeste persuaded me to at least come look at the bunnies first. So she led me to the break room. She opened the fridge and started pulling out cute and fluffy white bunnies from the fridge, one or two at a time by the ears, and then plopped them on the table. The bunnies happily hop about the table. There were about a dozen of them.

“See, Oaks. They’re soooo cute. You NEED to dye them.”

“No. I don’t! I’m not going to dye the bunnies and neither you or Big Boss can make me.”

Suddenly, Big Boss was in the room. He insisted that he needed the bunnies dyed in pastel colors and if I didn’t follow his order, he’d have no choice but to make me walk the plank.

Yes. The plank.

Big Boss opened the door behind him. In real life, that door leads to the elevator lobby. In this case, it opens onto the top of a cliff with a plank installed.

“Dye the bunnies. Or walk the plank,” said Big Boss.

I woke up.

And then I documented the dream and emailed it to my department around 6 p.m. or so.

This morning, I found a reply from Big Boss.

“Arrrrrgh mateys. The scurvey wench has mutiny in her spleen. I say we keel haul her at dawn and then she walks the plank. The gulls can pick her eyes out when her water-logged carcass drifts ashore – if she avoids Davey Jones’ locker, that is.

What say you all, me pirate brethren? Shall we give her one last chance to save her wretched self and dye the miserable bunnies…? Or do we send her to a watery grave…?!”

Gotta love it when Big Boss gets into character. 🙂

Leave a Reply