New Year’s Eve in Southern California was positively gorgeous. The weather was mild. Not a cloud in the sky.

I haven’t been looking up at the sky that much, to tell you the truth. My life has recently been consisted off getting on the bus just as the sun comes up, leaving the building for lunch amidst Downtown LA’s highrises, and getting home after the sun has gone to sleep.

But last Sunday, I looked toward the Big Blue.

I have never felt so small.

All of the sudden, I realized how big the sky is and how far it is up there from where I am. In the scale of things, I’m barely a speck. This little suburban town is merely God’s fine mist of spit after a small sneeze.

Some people reached that epiphany while summitting the Everest or sailing through the middle of the ocean. For me, it was in my little Toyota, stopped at a red light. Go figure. Oakley has to have an epiphany on her own terms.


While people around me seems to have drama in their lives in regards to relationship, I am fortunate to have my most important relationships very uncomplicated.

Brandon and I have a very straight forward marriage.

We want to go out with our friends without the other? Only one condition is that we have to set an ETA and meet that time. If we were going to be late, we are to check in and give a new ETA. (And one extra requirement for me is really drive home safely or to have a designated driver.)

Checking out other hot chick/dude in real life or otherwise? Check them out all you want. You’re married to me and you are coming home with ME. LOL.

“Do you want to go do this?” “Nope.” “Okay.”

There is no playing games or anything around here. Everything is face value.

I like things to be simple. Playing games is not my thing. I discussed my dating philosophy–or the lack thereof–with a friend once. I have the caveman approach. Me like you. You come with me. That’s it. LOL. For both Brandon and the ex boyfriend, I started off as being friends and being better friends. That was how I test drove the relationship. Being friends took all that pretentious dating stuff off and go straight for the meat. Once I was sure, I asked them out. That was it. I didn’t go on dates. Just way too much bullshit for me.

Same thing with my girlfriends back home and my best friend Nora. We can tell each other anything and everything. There is no reading too much into anything that we do. No “Oh she doesn’t want to come see me this weekend, I see how that is.” No “Oh I don’t really want to do this but because she wants to, I’ll put up with it.” “I don’t feel like it,” is enough answer.

The absence of bullshit is the foundation of great relationship.


  1. KorBua   •  

    I love the “ME LIKE YOU. YOU COME WITH ME.”… hahahaha great approach… I should listen to u instead of hitting their heads with big sticks and drag them back to my cave. 😛

  2. lillian   •  

    lol… ”I like you, you like me come home with me.” Good lyrics for a song

  3. Olaina.PhotosandArt   •  

    Yeah, basic honesty and trust shouldn’t be so hard to come by or grasp in a relationship.

    SO: Justin and I are out and about in our very straight-bi-gay-friendly town. I see someone hot, I point him/her out to Justin. He does the same for me. Beauty is beauty–we can all appreciate it withoutsaccidentally forgetting Justin and I are MARRIED to EACH OTHER. It’s not hard. And it’s way more fun than all those poor losers who don’t trust their spouses and end up lying all the time just to protect their feelings. That system doesn’t seem to work for them. I’m mean duh–she doesn’t trust me, so I’ll lie some more and that will make it better. Some men need better brains and hearts. Scarecrow? Lion? Could we get some lessons down here. 🙂 Thanks.

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