Survived

Night One without Brandon?  Totally sucks. I stayed up as late as I could to get sleepy enough to sleep through the night.  Of course, the F-Bombers next door would decide to have late drinking night.  Fortunately, they weren’t loud but the made enough noise to startle me at 1:30 a.m.  I kept waking up here and there after that. *sigh*...
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A Whole Lotta Not Much

I didn’t go to work today. But I felt like I might as well have done it and I wouldn’t be as tired! This morning I had my physical. I wrote the time down wrong, so I unknowingly showed up 30 minutes after my appointment. So, here I was, sitting in the cold room in paper gown waiting for good 20 minutes when someone came in to tell me about my mistake and that I would have to wait for my doctor to finish with other patients. At least she had a decency to turn on a space heater for...
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Mixed Up

After much of the ranting and raving I’ve done, I found myself in a weird place. I am holding on to the anger and frustration. I mean, I’m sure psychologically I’m all fucked up in the head over this and I especially shouldn’t be assigning my blame on anyone. But, I DO blame that surgeon. And I will hold that against him forever. Please just don’t let me know his name. That is when it’s going to be very bad. So yep. I’m bubbling inside there. Like an extended and suppressed PMS. I’m fine and dandy until something sets me...
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Bits and pieces

As I talked to many people about my mom yesterday, one clear theme emerged. I want to track down the original surgeon who waved off chemo because “I got it all” and punch him in the face. One punch. That’s it. And a lot of screaming obscenities. In English. Sorry, Buddha. I know I’m not to embrace violence. But one punch instead of unleashing my martial arts on his ass IS already a practice of self-restraint. Anger is the only thing I have to hold on to right now. Otherwise, I don’t think I could’ve gotten out of bed without...
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