I am going to try out a new template here. So if you happen by and see all sorts of craziness, please know that it’s self-inflicted.
Thanks!
ETA: I like the look and the color now, swapping out the fader pink and gray for the bolder pink and black. The sidebar elements are still a bit problematic but I’ll get to that tomorrow. At least everything is in its proper place.
I struggled to remember the 10 Golden Rules of college per the instruction of my awesome high school Physics teacher, Ed Cunningham. A few of them I had committed to memory as I managed to follow them for at least the first semester freshman year.
You know, before the rest of your college life actually encroached on your studying.
So, I wrote whatever I could remember down on a handful of note cards along with some that I just made up from experience. These cards and a copy of “The Alchemist” are on their way to Brandon’s niece Lauren in Norco who is graduating from high school this morning.
After that, Lauren is leaving California for a brave new world of her second home state, New Mexico. Brandon’s mom has been back to college this past few years, attending classes at University of New Mexico extension campus in Taos. As a matter of fact, she’s getting her associate this summer! Lauren is going to join her this fall. Mom is thinking of renting a small place in town while they go to school, and then head back to their home in the mountains on the weekend.
Grandma and granddaughter are not only going to be schoolmates but roommates as well. Doesn’t that sound like fun? 
Anyways. Here is what was in the “College Rules for Success” cards I wrote for Lauren. EC marks the ones from Mr. Cunningham:
Blogosphere, feel free to add more of yours here!
DSCF1432
Originally uploaded by Oakmonster(TM).
Here I am, with the real Saint Patty! 
It’s only Tuesday?
Fuck.
Drinking Buddy of the Year: Celeste
It wouldn’t be a good time without this one. She is present at almost any work party I threw. We drink after work. We drink at her house. Hell, when there was that accident at Candice’s wedding, I was even there when she downed tequila to numb the pain while waiting to get out of the damn place. And of course, if we look back at 2006, she’s the one who started us on the Bar Hopping Shopping!
Bar of the Year: Library Bar
The Library Bar marked a LOT of the milestones since we discovered it last year. The departure of the former Big Boss. The last hoorah with Cool Cat VP Greg (RIP). More debauchery that one could remember. And the last time was my birthday Friday and it was fantastic! Friendly people. Cool and relaxed atmosphere. And Wolfgang Puck’s next door. Best. Bar. Ever!
Lifetime Service Award: The Bangkok Three - Joy, Tong, Lily
You know who your best friends are when tragedy strikes. When my mom passed away, the ladies came out in force to support me. Lily pretty much was my chauffeur and assistant the entire trip, driving me all over town. Tong, with her great aunt passed away about the same time, still came to my mom’s wake and cremation. I cried on her shoulder. Joy couldn’t attend because of her new born baby, but sent her love and support through email and phone calls through the whole ordeal. Without them, I wouldn’t know what to do.
Newcomer Award: Downtown Drinking Gang
It is amazing who you meet while working in Downtown LA. I gathered a few new friends to join us at happy hour from all sorts of places. Dave the New Guy. El Heffe. Dancing Fools Robb and Al. The more, the merrier!
High Point of the Year: Awards Dinner
The Awards Dinner in November was the most involving and insane project I have ever been involved in and yet it was the proudest moment of my career. Oh, and the after party? It was an anti-party party, but it was fun too. Heh.
Low Point of the Year: Mom’s Passing
I don’t think I have to explain that one.
Best Holiday: My Birthday
Christmas was fun, but my 2-part birthday party was the best time of the year for 2007. Friday night boozing with Downtown friends and Saturday night home-cooked meal with a group of close friends, drinking wine and singing karaoke in our tiny apartment. I could not ask for more!
Song of 2007: Far Away, Nickelback / Code Monkey, Jonathan Coulton
The first one was already a favorite song of mine that took a whole other meaning since I went home to see my mom for the last time.
And the second one, since James introduced me to the wonderful little world of JC, I just couldn’t get the song out of my head.
Movie of 2007: Pan’s Labyrinth
Pan’s Labyrinth is technically 2006 movies, but I didn’t see it until 2007, so sue me. Anyway, the movie still haunts me to a point where I’m dying to see it again but at the same time so afraid to get my heart broken again to do so. The movie that makes that much of an impact on me deserves to be on the best list.
Halloween Costume of 2007: Padawan OakMonster
Well heck, I spent a lot of time and money on this and I looked damn good.
Restaurant of the Year: Takami / Chronic Tacos
Takami is THE place for me this year with celebration of Amy’s birthday and our company Christmas party to top it all off. But as for home town cheap eats, Chronic Tacos, a late discovery, is the best damn joint in Long Beach!
Book of the Year: Atonement
HP7 was indeed a great book. But all things considered, the book that left a lasting impression and captured my imagination more is Atonement. I just hope that the movie would do the book justice.
Oh, and I came to realize I only read almost 7 books this year. Not many at all! Doh! Little Children. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows. The Dresden Files: White Night. The Kite Runner. Atonement. Out: A Novel. And half of Jhumpa Lahiri’s Interpreter of Maladies. Now I’m a few chapters into Middlesex.
TV Show of the Year: Top Gear
I’m probably the last person on the planet who just now fell in love with Top Gear. My favorite episode so far? The Car Football Part II. You just cannot help smiling at this!
Biggest Change of the Year: Living Room Upgrade
It started with the couch. Then the entertainment center. Then the computer armour. Then the big screen HD TV. Then the X-Box. Soon the end table to match.
Best Decision Made This Year: Separate July Vacation
Brandon and I went our separate way this year in July. I went home and he went out to New Mexico. I got to see my mom one last time and we had a few lucid moments together and I didn’t have to worry about Brandon. And Brandon got to spend time with his family and away from the madness that was the Sad Summer of 2007.
Best Plan for 2008 So Far: Hawaii
Oh yes. First time for me and my dad and first for Brandon since he was 12. This quick trip to paradise may be a short stay but we all should have a lot of fun.
2007 Monthly Highlights
January: USC beat Michigan at the Rose Bowl. Our fridge died and resurrected. Mario Danelo, USC’s kicker, died in an unsolved mystery. OakMonster.com was born. Snow in Malibu. Frenchy got married. Departure of the Big Boss.
February: Proud owner of the red Swingline stapler. My first Oscar nominated films marathon. My first adult pink eye.
March: Las Vegas with the Aunties. My first set of Moo cards. St. Pattrick’s Day’s impromtu party sprung up around a vat of stew. 5 seconds of fame on KTLA Trafficast man-on-the-street promo. Bono became a knight. My first American air show at Point Mugu.
April: Departure of Amy. Legally change my name at Thai Consulate. The beginning of the Summer of Sorrow with Justin’s mom fallen ill.
May: Brandon in DC. Departure of Michael. Renaissance Faire in Thai costume. The beginning of Karaoke Revolution addiction at James & Aurora’s. Impromptu sing-along session at Amy & Pete’s. Meeting J.C. & Erick’s son Joshua for the first time.
June: Hope in humanity is restored when a middle school boy returned my credit card wallet to his teacher. Brandon in turn gave him a family pack of tickets to the K-9 benefit show. Justin’s mom passed away. Coworker Lianne gave birth to baby K.J. Coworker Candice’s wedding and the pyrotechnic accident that injured Celeste. Cousin Nicky’s graduation. My first geocaching trip. BFF Joy gave birth to baby Jett. Team Lesser Weevils breaks last year record raising funds for AIDS Walk Long Beach. Got a bad sinus infection and had to get on the plane to go to Thailand.
July: Seeing my mom alive for the last time. Watch Harry Potter 5 twice–once before finishing HP7 and again in IMAX 3D after. Finished Harry Potter in 26 hours.
August: Amber visited from Colorado. Reggie the Alligator captured and displayed at LA zoon. My first Bat’s Day Black Market. My first time at an American zoo at San Diego Zoo. Departure of Eva. My mom passed away.
September: Baby boom - announcements from Aurora, Nan, Beth and Celeste’s brother. Talk Like A Pirate Day caught on at investor’s meeting. 14-year-old hairdryer died. USC’s (and frankly, the entire BCS) crazy football season began. Girls Night Out in Downtown LA.
October: K9 Benefit Show. Avenue Q. Marking 50 days after mom’s death, my first time at a local Thai temple. SoCal’s fiery Fall. Spectacular Halloween.
November: The Awards Dinner. Operation Jingle All the Way got us a Marine to adopt. Shane’s dad closed his beauty supply store. My 2-day birthday celebration. Cool Cat VP Greg W. passed away. Marking 100 days after mom’s death by myself. News broke on USC football may be going to the Rose Bowl. 20,000 visitors. Mom would’ve turned 66.
December: Girls Night In at Nhien’s. Mad holiday season at work and at home: 2 parties at my work, one at Brandon’s, and dinner at our place. One week without hot water. And now hot water is coming out of the cold water tap as well. *sigh*
New Year’s Eve Plan: Nora is coming over tomorrow to have dinner and spend the night. We don’t have any invitation to any party or to go count down at anyone’s house as yet. So we might end up at home, by the beach to watch the fireworks on the Queen Mary, or at someone else’s house. We shall see.
Wishing you a VERY HAPPY 2008!
No, I am NOT going to do the obligatory “What I’m thankful for” post.
So, have a Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
Gobble gobble.
See time stamp.
Been up an hour before this. And if I’m still up the next hour, I’m just going to drive in to work.
Ack.
I have put together all the information about my mom on the page “In loving memory” on the sidebar under “the Whole Story”. You can go over there to get all the info you need.
My mom had always valued education. Aside from the Red Cross, this was another cause she supported. As a matter of fact, a monk turned up one night at the wake. Apparently, my mom had paid for his ordination 10 some years ago when she and the aunties stopped at a countryside temple. He saw my mom’s funeral announcement in the papers and came to pay his respect. But I digress.
My dad used to teach at a university. He has some contacts there to explore the opportunity to set up a scholarship for architecture school in my mom’s honor. This is definitely something I can get behind.
Now, back to life without mom.
It seems we all have survived our first night of “normal”. My dad, my brother and his girlfriend had dinner at the house. The first home cooked dinner since I got back. Dad watches the news after dinner and heads back to the office. Onk is back in his true form and already sneaked out of the house after sending off my any-day-now sister-in-law. Me, at the computer, blogging away…at dad’s office instead of my own. Ake still has a few days left on bereavement so I don’t know what he’s doing.
The only thing missing from the routine is mom.
Dad and brothers used to visit mom at random time during the week. Ake swung in at lunch. Onk’s schedule varied. And dad usually went before dinner (which these days is served around 8 p.m.) or sometime in the afternoon on his way back from meetings. And when I was here, I was there from morning until night, pretty much.
After her death, everyone still had a schedule to keep: work during day and be at the temple by 6:30 for the wake. Then the cremation and the scattering of ashes, still mom’s events although the schedule was different.
The wake was like a transition period. A bit of a built-in adjustment courtesy of our traditions. Or maybe it was just 8 more days of denial. Frankly, part of me felt like mom wasn’t really gone during those evenings at the temple.
The cremation hit me like a brick. Leaving the spot in the Gulf of Thailand where we “scattered” mom’s ashes (more like sinking the water soluble urn, really) hit me like a Mack truck full of said bricks.
Pueng, our faithful maid, is not taking all of this very well. We almost had to drag her away from the crematorium as she went back in there to be right by the “oven”, refusing to leave mom’s side.
I think we all try to get her to move on along like the rest of us are by keeping her busy and putting some normalcy back into her life. Having me home right now is giving her one more person to take care of.As for Kob, the caregiver, the person who was there as my mom drew her last breath, heads back out to her home town for a few months before returning to city for the next job. What a job to have, to care for the sick, got all attached to them and have them die on you. I really believe hospice nurses and caregivers, like Eve being created from Adam’s rib, are born with bits of angels in them.
*
I woke up this morning and found myself missing my mother.
I pulled her clothes out of the closet in dad’s bedroom today. Some of the pieces I remember well. Some of them I haven’t seen before. Funny how I don’t miss her while I am elbow deep in her clothes, breathing in her scent, but a walk passed the picture frames she had set up so long ago brings tears to my eyes.
But holy crap, that was ONE half of a closet and I have easily 2 garbage bag worth of stuff. And I haven’t even empty out the drawers yet. The other 2 closets are packed the same way. Pueng has a lot of work ahead of her, bringing all of that downstairs tomorrow morning before Aunty Sida gets here. Me and my dearest Aunty are so going to have fun swimming out of my mom’s clothes tomorrow!
See what I mean right there? We are moving on along here. And we are missing her in all sorts of different ways.
My dad told me he misses mom most in the morning for some reason, not in the evening when he used to visit her. I told him it’s because now there is nobody to push him to get ready and go out the door on time. And while I’m here, I’m the one doing that job. I caught myself sounding exactly like my mother this morning as we were late getting out the door to go to his doctor’s appointment.
That Mack truck of bricks will probably come to dad the day after I leave. And probably going to hit Pueng too.
It seems my presence here is just another built in step to ease people’s pain. I just stepped in to fill the void left by mom right now at our house.
But once I’m gone, I wonder how this place would be like. And how empty I will feel being all the way over there.
*
Oh, and I just realized that I haven’t written about how mom passed away yet. That’ll be later. Right now, I’m going to upload a few more pictures to the album and head home to bed. Good night, y’all.
Brandon mentioned that IF we were really really good and eating in a lot more, we could possibly afford to have a maid service to come in once a month for a thorough cleaning of the place.
I mean, we pick up after ourselves and clean the house on a semi-regular basis. Not Martha Stewart tidy, but cozy. Neither one is a clean freak and we all know I only dust like twice a year…right?
So, once a month of professional deep clean is a good idea? What do you think?
And I’m not even going to sit at the couch. Na-ah. No, sir. Not me.
The couch/love seat has a similar power to our bed, at least on me because I can still sleep on it, believe it or not. Both the couch and the bed must some kind of a succubus or something. They lure you in for a nice little relaxing layabout and then WHAM! They trap you in with their soothing and super comfortable embrace, and suck all energy and sap your will to do anything else on your feet out of you. They would keep you there forever if they could have it their way I’m sure.
Anyway. I. Am. Super. Duper. Sleepy.
I almost didn’t make it home today. I found myself trying to sing in the car and downing my water to keep awake.
The event was done. It was hugely successful. We ran out of many things which was a good thing because we didn’t have anything to take back to the office.
Both fortunately and unfortunately at the same time, Nhien and I spent last night at the hotel where the event was held. Because we knew we were staying in town, we were working on the preparation until 11:30 p.m. (given that we took sometime off to grab a bite).
By the time we got the last of our stuff to the hotel, checked in, settled in and all of that, it was well over midnight. Nhien took the first shower shift and by the time I came out she was out cold. 1 a.m. was the time I turned off my light. Unlike Nhien, I had trouble falling asleep for a bit, but then the next thing I knew the phone was ringing. It was 5 a.m. and we were up and at ‘em. What I just had was not a good night sleep but a really good 4-hour nap.
Not really enough sleep to get you through the day, but with a cup of coffee and some chocolate, a girl could get through the morning event, late morning wrap-up, lunch meeting, and throwing afternoon office party.
Suffice to say why I am incredibly sleepy right now but I shall not nap. It took me all these times to get over my jet lag. I’m not about to throw it all away!
But man, staying awake is really, really hard! Hahah!
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