Category Archives: General Musing


The Return of Thomas

My friend Tom from work has just returned from a 6-month world tour. He’s back in the U.S., now crashing with his mom in Philly. He’s off to graduate school at George Washington University in Washington D.C. in a couple of weeks.

On Friday, Tom called me and Terence, the other writer and friend, at work. That was the best part of our day. I actually teared up. It was really nostalgic to hear Tom’s voice in the writer’s room…just like old times!

Anyhoo. We’ve been keeping a “Thomas Guide” for Tom since he left the company and the country in February. It’s a big world map with “Thomas Guide” logo and a piece of Kracker candy bar, Tom’s favorite, taped onto it. Tom would check in from each of his destination via email, and we would tape a picture of his head onto the map. Then I took a picture of the map and send it to Tom and his mom. The Thomas Guide was quite a hit.

Tom and his girlfriend Melanie’s journey goes something like this:

California to Philadelphia Road Trip –> Flight to Los Angeles –> Fiji –> New Zealand (Auckland through Queenstown) –> Sydney: rented a camper, drove up the eastern coast –> Thailand: few days in Bangkok with a day spent with Oakley’s parents, the rest was traveling through Krabi and the south –> Cambodia –> Vietnam –> Bangkok again –> Melanie off to Rome, Tom to Bali –> Tom meets up with Mel in Rome –> London –> Back to Philly.

We all want to travel like that once in our lives and here goes Tommy Boy and his girlfriend, living our dreams for us.

The Thomas Guide will be shipped off to Tom so he could adorn the wall of his new pad in D.C.


Just when I was about to go to bed, I was hit by this low grade meloncholy. A somber realization with a dash of morbidity and a hint of brooding pessimism.

I think this all may have stemmed from a comment made by a friend from work today. “I believe I’m going to die alone,” he said.

He was thoroughly convinced that he would never find his life partner. According to him, his soulmate is his ex-wife, so he didn’t need to find that. He dreaded going through life without anyone by his side.

I tried to cheer him up the best I could. But he was dead set on it. There was not much I can do. But I did promise him that I will be there, yapping away by his death bed so he will definitely know he is not alone.

When someone doesn’t want to get cheered up, they can really really brood.

I did the same thing earlier on this evening too. I started to think these things:

I would never get out of the rut that I’m in. (See “Grrrr”). I could never get out of the debt we have. I could never afford a home. I would never be successful. And I made a horrible wife. I’m afraid my life has turned out to be God’s (doesn’t matter whose “God” it is) sad experiment with a perfectly good karma strain. With everything that is made up to be me, karma/cosmic or otherwise, I should’ve turned out better than this.

Then I also realized that it DEFINITELY could be a lot worse than this.

I could be roaming the streets of Bombay searching for scraps in the trash, sharing my sidewalk of a bedroom with dogs and cockroaches, being brutalized or forced into prostitution, and living with AIDS with no access to any medical attention.

Even in your darkest hours, there are always lights to get you through. In my case, my light came through the love of my life. It was a glimpse of Brandon draping across our bed, sleeping soundly in our bed that makes me realize I don’t have it all that bad.

I have been blessed, lucky, or perhaps good in the past lives. At the least I have all my limbs and am in good health, and I have Brandon. All the other worries are nothing compared to what other people may have.

And after I typed away on this thing, I snapped out of it.

Sleep is back to drag me through the night…

Revolving Door

My former manager, my goddess and mistress, turned in her resignation today after a month of being reassigned from Executive Public Affairs Manager to do “business development” (read: sales), and exiled to work from home.

That makes the 3rd person to have left my company in a month, the 4th in 2 months, the 7th since January, and the 14th since I started working here in October 2002.

Reverse chronological order:

  • My Manager, quit today.
  • My boss’ Executive Assistant/Billing Clerk, quit last week.
  • Receptionist, quit mid July.
  • My boss’ other Executive Assistant (she was to take over the assisting part so the other lady can concentrate on billing), let go in June.
  • Account Executive, let go in March/April.
  • Account Executive, let go in February.
  • Writer, quit in February.
  • Writer, laid off in November 2003.
  • Part-time Receptionist, let go.
  • Billing Clerk, let go. I don’t remember when.
  • Web designer, quit/let go. Not sure.
  • My boss’ Executive Assistant, let go.
  • Writer, let go.
  • Graphics Designer, quit soon after I started in October 2002.

Good times.

Creature of Habit

I have some friends who have a Taco Tuesdays, D&D Wednesdays, or Poker Thursdays. And unless it’s something super special, they will not change their plans. And I remembered thinking why would anyone want to put their free time on a schedule like that? After all it’s your FREE time.

And now I’m one of those with a schedule.

Monday – Yoga
Tuesday – TV night starting at 7 p.m. We have satellite so showtimes are a bit odd. “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy”. Then Brandon watches “Rescue Me”, and then I wrapped up with second showing of “Nip/Tuck”, my new favorite!
Wednesday – Pilates and general work out.
Thursday – No schedule yet.
Friday – Tai Chi

Then again, life is on a schedule already. You wake up at a certain time then go to work at certain time. Lunch at noon. Get off work at so and so time. So on and so forth. It’s safer to have a schedule, to have structure. It feels better to go along with a pattern. We feel secure that way. That’s our logic.

Although not being on a schedule once in a while is nice. So that would make it a scheduled unscheduled free time.

**Tangent alert**

I just read “The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time”. It was in the voice of a 14 year-old autistic boy. He doesn’t like the color yellow. Food stuffs on his plate must not touch each other. He doesn’t like to be touched. All of that is HIS logic. Color yellow, mixed food, and touch make him feel unsafe. He has his patterns to follow just like all of us, but they weren’t the same pattern. Very interesting indeed.