Unprocessed Post

My heart screams that I should write. Write about everything and nothing. I don’t know what I’m going to write about or if I should write about, but it feels if I don’t write something my heart will explode. Or may be it was the bananaberry cream pie I just had for dinner. Or the decaf coffee. Anyway, I’m thinking of this like the Drunkity Post. You know, blogging when buzzed/drunk. I’m not going to edit anything out afterward, just grammar and spelling correction along the way. Let’s see if this experiment work. I shall call it…something. What should I call it? Stream of Consciousness Blogging? That’s a mouthful and a half. And a little bit snooty. Random Ranting? Spur of the moment writing? Pouring of the heart and soul at the oddest hour of the evening? What should this be called? What should this be called? Fingers are tapping. No brilliant idea comes to mind. May be it’ll just come to me. Kind of like how I’d go about naming a car. Things that want to be name will let you know what their names are. Eventually. Looking at Rude Cactus and his car Zippy! Eventually, the name will come. Then this random no topic run out of my mouth/hand blog shall have a name. It’s 11:02 and I’m stuffed. I had panang beef and rice at 4:30 and pie at 8:30. It’s been a greatly relaxing day although something in the force seems a little disturbed. How did I know that? Because earlier on when I sang, I actually sounded okay, hitting all the high notes without straining too much when belting them out. Funny. It seems how the world around me is crumbling, and I should go crumbling with it. But somehow I’m standing defiantly, thumbing my nose at the world, and said, fuck you world, I can do this on my own. It feels like everything is going by, life is rolling past, and I decide to just stop right here and watch it all go by and doesn’t give a fuck. Interesting. Is this depression? Or may be it’s just gas. *Burp* Well, it’s not gas. Have I gone mad and give up caring? All I want to do is write. I don’t want to go to work. I don’t want to go to sleep. I just want to write. Write write write write. Eventhough this is all nonsense that I’m writing but I can’t stop doing it. It feels like life is not going to be complete if I stop now and go to bed. Am I delusional? Delirious? Mentally unstable? Does anyone have a spare Prozac? Zoloft? Happy pill of some kind? Will Vicodin work? Nah. That damn thing gives me hives on my neck. A beer would be nice but I have no room in my stomach for that. A shot perhaps? But I don’t really want to drink. Oooh I know what it is. It’s sugar. I have an obscene amount of sugar today that I normally do. I had a Thai iced tea boba. I had a few pieces of See’s Candies sampler, and I had one more piece at home after panang. Then I had a personal size pie. And decaf coffee. That’s a hell of a lot more than my usual one carton of soy milk and a cup of tea when it comes to sugar. Madness! MADNESS. It’s crazy I tell you. Why am I feeling so crazy? Oh, yeah. I guess watching BRAZIL last night before I went to bed contributes to a little bit of that. Has that movie somehow trigger the flood gate of insanity? Or may be it really is all the sugar I consumed today. Sugar. Must be sugar. Must not lose mind. Mind is a horrible thing to waste. Ooh I know. Tsunami of Thoughts post? Nah. Too cliche. Too tragic. Damn it will I ever come up with a name for this? I don’t know. I don’t think so. May be it’ll come to me in my dreams tonight. But then again that means I’d have to go to bed. I hate going to bed with a full stomach. Ah crap. I’d better go to bed though because if I don’t go then I won’t wake up tomorrow and that’d be really bad. Ooh I have a name for this style of posting!

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