OakMonster rules the world III

I was on KROQ this morning talking about the “Fat Clause” in my marriage.

The topic of KROQ was that if the wife is supposed to stay beautiful and not let herself get fat but the husband, the breadwinner, can do whatever he wants.

So I gave them a call.

Brandon and I had verbal agreement since before we got married that if either one of us became exceedingly fat, that is a ground for divorce. That’s how we’re going to keep each other in check.

So far, although, as I said on the radio, my butt has gotten jigglier, I haven’t gained any weight. Mr. Boren on the other hand has gained enough pounds since we got married, but is not “fat”.

Love is unconditional, that much we believe. But if I love Brandon, I wouldn’t want to see him turned into Jabba the Hutt on a speedwagon to obesity related early death. We love each other enough to keep each other from killing ourselves by being obese.

It’s not showing love to each other if you let yourself go like that. That’s enough for one to walk out on the marriage.

If we don’t care about ourselves first, how could we care about anyone else?

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