Peace, Love, and Greed

Nothing shows the American style of Christmas spirit like the Gift Exchange game. Not only people would bring the cheapest gift to the party, but now someone else can take YOUR gift.

What the fuck kind of game is this!?!

Where I came from, all the gifts are labeled with numbers. Then you pick those numbers out of the hat. You go match your number to the gift and the gift is yours.

Simple. Wonderful. Everyone goes home happy. No fighting. No bitterness.

Today at my company’s holiday luncheon, it was like a war zone. One lady jotted down everything that was opened and tracked where they went so she could go and steal what she wanted later without missing a beat.

Really, what the fuck? This is CHRISTMAS time for crying out loud!?!

Then the first time I encountered the Gift Exchange game, I was about to kill that bitch from Marketing at HSX. I got me a toy accordian. The broad swapped that from me because she had a crappy 99c store calendar. A year later, at my birthday party, she gave that to me for my birthday after having it sit on her desk for a year.

And then, here’s my holiday pet peeve.

White Elephant gift originally was for people to bring in quirky trinkets and crazy items that no one wouldn’t really wanted. Then you play the game and then swapping for the best deal of the bunch. I mean, that was what I know as White Elephant gift when I came to the US in 1993.

My host mom Bonnie won this antique sail boat pulley mounted on a woodblock. She turned it into a table lamp and it was kind of cool. I went with her to a few other events where we brought in something like Chia Pet, and then fighting for a better gift sort of make sense.

Now, it’s just all about greed.

Oh *I’m* not going to spend all that much money if I’m going to end up with that stupid ass gift again. Oh I don’t want *THAT*. Oh look at that bastard bringing in $9.99 gift to $20.00 minimum and didn’t even take the fuckin’ tag off, you cheap ass. Etc. Etc.

Yeah, I’m bitching about people being greedy, but I too am as guilty as anyone in this matter.

Christmas is no longer the celebration of Jesus and God and all that is holy. ‘Tis the time when Satan and his minions truly rule the earth.

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