When you’re gone

Cheech breezed into town yesterday from Oregon, and hung out with us all evening. He should be in Mexico by now.

I didn’t realize how much I missed my gay boyfriend until yesterday when we hung out. Same thing when Nora came up last weekend.

What’s wrong with me?

I mean, I go on with my everyday life not really missing anyone. The moment we get to spend time together, suddenly I remember all the good times and I just want to be with them all the time.

Unfortunately, my best friends either are out of state or out of the country except for Nora who’s just about hour drive away. And even so, I don’t see her as much either.

May be it’s the fact that I’ve been separated from all that I love for most of my life, only seeing them for a period at a time. So I automatically push my feelings back so I don’t miss them too much. After a while, I think I’m just numb to that hole in my heart. It’s there but I’m not feeling it until something triggers it.

i.e. Visit from Cheech, a fight with Brandon, a moment that homesick wins over.

Oh yeah. So now I’m missing Cheech and hence I’m missing my girls back home. And therefore missing my mom.

Ah shit. I still have another 34 minutes at work.

Then, it’s drinking.

We’re pre-celebrating St. Patty’s with my coworkers tonight. Heh.

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