Dirty, dirty mind

*Ring, ring*

“Hello?”

“How did you like that pair of titties for breakfast?”

*Hearty laugh*

You know the cupcakes I made last night?

Well, after an overnight in the fridge, the dusting of powdered sugar has faded. So when I put a pair of cupcakes on Brandon’s desk before I left this morning, the creamy white, perfectly rounded top cupcakes with red dot in the middle, left behind by my piping in the raspberry preserve, suddenly look like a pair of boobs.

Tits. Just a pair of perfect Valentine’s Day presents for a dude.

But may be not for the work place…

Oh my god. Holy shit! What am I going to do with all of my cupcakes!! Not everyone is going to have the dirty mind that I have, but who knows!??

Shit! SHIT!!!

Whipped cream. That’s it! I’ll put whipped cream on top of these when I get to work. Holy shit! I don’t have any whipped cream?? How is this possible that I didn’t replenish this ever so important staple after the Great Fridge Meltdown!?!?! And I’m exactly on time. No time to hit the store.

Shit! SHIT!!!

So I boarded the bus with my cupcakes and a baggy of powdered sugar and my mini sifter (aka tea infuser), scheming up a way that I could finagle some whipped cream from Starbucks. But maybe, just maybe the general store may have a can of whipped cream.

The general store did not carry whipped cream. Well, now I know. But they do have gummy bears. So after a light dusting of more powdered sugar, I covered the questionable red dots with gummy bears.

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Oh. My. God. Who knew gummy bears could save you from sexual harassment lawsuits!

Now that my dirty, dirty mind is at ease, I wish you a happy, sugar-filled yet sap-free Valentine’s Day!

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