Dread

I dread the flight tonight in many ways.

First, I’m scared to see mom.  I’m scared to face the reality that everyone else back home has been facing for so long.  I’m scared that I wouldn’t be able to handle it and fall apart all over the place.  I’m scared that I may not want to leave her side.

I’m just fucking scared.  Period.

And then, I’m scared my eardrums are going to blow up due to my serious sinus infection.

Heck, my ears had trouble equalizing coming down 34 floors earlier today.  I’m still taking my Sudafed, Tylenol and Airborne religiously.  I just bought me a pair of EarPlanes, filtered earplugs that are supposed to be helpful with flights.  I tried them on and thinking maybe I should get the adult size ones.  May be just have to pick that up on the way out, along with Afrin nasal spray on the way out because I totally forgot to pick that up a while ago.

On top of all of that, the antibiotics make me a little queasy.  And my body, since it’s still putting up a damn good fight against the infection, feels zapped of energy every hour or so.  I would be finishing up packing and wham! I’m out for the count.  As the matter of fact, I just woke up.  And I’m about to go take another nap.

Wham!

The next blog will be from home.  Hopefully, I will still have my hearing.  And sanity.

See you guys on the other side!

3 Comments

  1. kuri   •  

    Have a safe trip.

  2. Steve Suphan   •  

    Hi Oakley:

    Don’t forget to contact me when you get here. I tried sending you an email (twice) today to your email but i got one of those ‘address doesnt exist replies’. Hope to see you soon.

  3. Olaina   •  

    Hi my sweet OakMonster!

    I’m sending big monster hugs your way–hopefully good enough to make you feel better and scary enough to shoo those yucky germs away. Sorry you got sick!

    I will too, if I don’t obey the SuperMD (and my real doc) and take my sleep medicine. Without it, I’m doomed. I strongly recommend getting a perscription for some of that. Without it, Justin and I never would have slept, starting April 28, the day we got the call about his mom. We still don’t sleep that well without it… and this is no time to experiment.

    Also, it’s OK to be scared. I was really scared too, and so was Justin. But I know you’ll get through it. You’ll discover strength you didn’t know you had (though I already think you’re pretty strong, what with that martial arts bit and the ability to eat more than me!) and do things you can’t ever have imagined doing.

    Just be there with her and your family and absorb it all. I still feel like I wish I could have/could now do more–but like Justin and everyone says, all I (you) can do is love them.

    The rest will take care of it self.

    But don’t forget to take care of you!

    We’ll be praying for you and your family. *hugs!*

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