I was dreading sleep for some reasons last night.  So I posted. I checked my stats. I googled OakMonster and found some interesting things.  I milled around a while longer.

I was tired but I didn’t want to go to sleep.  There was no reason why I shouldn’t be asleep.  I just didn’t want to go lay down.

I finally did lay down.  But my heart was pounding as if I had just did a session of cardio.  For no reason what so ever.  And I couldn’t calm down.

Anxiety attack, apparently is the the internet diagnosis.

I don’t know what I was anxious about.  I don’t know if that was why I didn’t want to go to sleep.  I didn’t know what to do either.

So I grabbed Snoopy and I started singing “Que Sera, Sera” in my head.

Oddly enough, I calmed down and eventually went to sleep.

I think somewhere in the back of my head I was afraid to go to sleep because I didn’t want the day to end.   I didn’t want to see tomorrow because it’s one day closer to mom’s anniversary.

I don’t know what to do when that day comes.  And I’m a little afraid of it.