Category: Rant/Whine

Ranting and raving and whining and bitching. Oh yes!

True Life

I had a dream a few nights ago that I was back in school at Mater Dei.  Having heard Aurora talked about burning her hand on chemistry set back in high school at dinner time, in the dream, I ended up back in a chemistry lab.  My lab partner is one of my school friends but she is for some reason in a wheel chair and for that I have to help her with her lab stuff.

We were supposed to be measuring water into this beaker.  She kept telling me I was doing it wrong, that was too much water, that wasn’t enough water, it wasn’t supposed to drip like that, etc.

Why don’t you just do it, I asked.  You can’t use your legs but your hands are free. I’ll hold the beaker for you, even.

I can’t, she said. I’m sick, can’t you see?  Now, try it again with the dropper.

So I did.  Once again, she said I was doing it wrong.

I grabbed the beaker and poured the water on her head.

Naturally, she started screaming.  What the hell is wrong with you?  Why would you do that?

The teacher came over.  What is going on here, she asked.  Oakley poured water all over me, my lab partner whined.  The teacher looked at me for an answer.

Because she’s being a little bitch, I pointed out.

The room fell silent.

I see America has changed you, the teacher said.  Now, get out of my lab and go pack your bag too. This school no longer welcomes you.  (Apparently, in this dream, my school becomes a boarding school.)

Fine, I said.  And I left.

A bit of foreshadowing perhaps of my trip to come?  Hell, I already got a request to take down my Princess Leia zombie picture on my Facebook because it was “embarassing.”

Just for that, I’m going to upload a whole bunch of pics to my Facebook gallery.

I am turning 32 tomorrow.  Given, I had a pretty good idea of who I was when I came to the U.S. at 16.  However, I have struggled to find my place in the world for years–and I’ve compromised plenty.  Now that I’ve finally embraced my weirdness and quirks and the shape of my body, I refuse to have someone take that away from me again.

Muck like my geek manifesto and declaration of war against “Normal”, I am declaring war against people who want me to be something else I am not.

The only person I would take that kind of criticism from is my mother, and she is no more.  I will no longer compromise when it comes to my identity.

I will not back down to keep the peace just because I make you uncomfortable.  I refuse to be an easy target for you to feel better about yourself.  I refuse to be the scapegoat for your own low self esteem.  I refuse to be responsible for your feelings because you can’t accept me for who I am.

If you need an excuse from me so I am acceptable enough to you, then clearly, you can’t stand me at all.

I am who I am.  Take it or leave it.

Days gone by

Because of the timing of my Big Gala–and my self-inflicted funness that was Thrill the World–my time is running out before I head home for vacation.  I have to miss a few of my usual traditions around this time of year because I just don’t have the time or the right frame of mind for it.

Office Thanksgiving Potluck.  Our biggest potluck of the year.  I’m cramming the Big Gala in with my vacation, plus all of the other office holiday stuff I had to get ready before I leave,  it was just impossible.

Operation Jingle All the Way.  Usually I start campaigning for donation of supplies, books, and monetary contribution for postage by the first of November, and have everything mailed out to the troops by my birthday.  Obviously, that did not happen this year.

Thanksgiving.  Then again, I’d take the weekend on the beach of Phuket over Lord of the Rings marathon on the couch.  Black Friday I will not miss either as I will hook myself up to the internet and buy, buy, BUY!

Loy Kratong.  Full moon tomorrow night.  Well, I might still do it.  I’m sure I can whip up a kratong tonight while waiting on the laundry.

My own birthday. I’m trying my darnest not to miss out on that. Hopefully, I can get everything done for the Big Gala on Saturday and leaving Sunday free.  I’m planning on a dinner with my friends though.  There will be no drinking, but I’m planning on doing plenty of that after the Big Gala is over.  Muwahahaha.

Where has this year GONE?!?

Connected

I’ve fired up my much neglected Facebook and updated my LinkedIn.

Boy, did I gather up a whole bunch of new people!  With Facebook, it’s friends and new activity buddies (like Thrill the World people).  With LinkedIn, some long lost coworkers and recent connections.

I personally haven’t used my LinkedIn to full potential, I’m sure.  The Former DemiBoss is a true goddess when it comes to these things.  She’s a real connector in person and that carries into her life in the social media.

I used to really hate it when people say, “I’m glad we could connect,” or “Let us connect later.”

*shudder*

I like the word.  I like what it does.  Connect.  It’s a good thing.  But when it becomes a buzz word for the business world, it loses a bit of magic.

I like to keep in touch with people.  I like to know what is up to with them.  For example, if I hadn’t been sifting through my list, I wouldn’t have found out a former colleague just had her baby in July, or that a spouse of the lady I befriended while at a training class had won an Emmy.

Knowing that people I know are doing well makes me happy.  It makes me truly appreciate the power of the internet to connect people from all over.  Something I couldn’t have done 10 years ago.

Some folks in the business world work the connections because they want to get something.  They want to “connect” because they want to drop the names.  They want to “connect” so they can ask for what they want.  They want to “connect” to get something.

A former coworker (/wave hi you!)  dropped me a pearl of wisdom that works even out of the context of the conversation we were having.

Two kinds of people in the world, Oakley.  The ones who ask, “What’s in it for me?” and the ones who ask, “What can I do to help?”

Obviously, I’m the “What can I do to help?” kind.  Therefore the “What’s in it for me?” folks bug the crap out of me.

Link me so I can USE you down the road for something.

I hate that.

Is there a point to this post?  Not really.  Just venting, I guess.

War on Normal

I don’t recall exactly the details of the conversation but I caught the new coworker looking at me funny.

“It’s okay. I’m weird, I know,” I told her.

“Oh, no, no.  You’re not weird,” she sputtered.

“Oh, no.  It’s okay. I’m okay with weird.  I embrace the weird.  You’re not insulting me.”

“No.  I didn’t mean you’re weird.  You’re not weird.”  The girl was still trying.
“Sweetie. It’s okay. I would be offended if you think I’m normal,” I ensured her.  “Because normal is fucking boring.”

I think the cowroker was a little startled at the F bomb, but she’ll get over it.  That’ll teach her to stop patronizing me again when it comes to embracing my quirks.

A while ago I wrote a mini manifesto on coming out of the geek closet.  Since then, I haven’t made an excuse for being a blogger/Tweeter/gamer.  But I found myself having to defend my other choices that Normal People call “weird”.

Like dressing and talking like a pirate.  Like doing Thrill the World.  Like loving chicharone (fried pork skin).  Like knowing there is such a thing as bacon of the month club.

Blogger friend Pond has raised the question on weird recently as well.  I told her I was drafting up a manisfesto on the war on Normal.

I started writing it, and it’s pretty much the same as the Geek’s Declaration of Independence I just wrote.  Substitute geeky for weird and there, you have it.

I must admit it’s a bit sad that I’ve been out of high school 13 years and I just now realized that John Mayer was half right, there is no such thing as the real world.

The “Real World” is actually High School 2.0.

And I’m done being in high school.

Again I will say, fuck Normal.

Numb Me

*Warning: Gross Girly Girl Content*  Out of respect for my manly man readers, ladies, please highlight the following content to continue.  We’re discussing navigation of the crimson waves here, fellas.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

So, ladies. Ready to give me some girly advice?

I’ve just switched up my Pills for the past two months.  The side effects so far have been minor weight gain and, to my husband’s rejoice, a little bit of boobage.  Also to Brandon’s rejoice, the mood swing is gone.However, the cramps have gotten worse.

It used to be a mild pain, enough to let you know it’s there and be irritable about it, even before the Pills.  An Aleve would have taken care of it.  It’ll go on the day before and be done within 36 hours.

But now, it’s a hard hitting come-and-go squeezes that, while not completely dehabilitating like some of my friends have, it was a lot more than I was used to.  If contractions are 10 times worse than the pulses I’ve been getting, I’m seriously happy I’m not planning on having kids.  Last month, the pain came and went within 12 hours.  So far, it’s been 24 and hasn’t gotten all that much better.

Oh, and I never crave chocolate like this before.  I held out the best that I can before giving in yesterday and had me some chocolate ice cream.

Brandon said that he is willing to do anything to help me with the pain and to get the chocolate as long as the mood swing stays away.  As much of an inconvenience and, well, how fucking hurts it is, I actually have to agree.  The mood swing afflicts both of us while the cramps only affects me.  It’s better for everyone involved.

So, this morning I’m armed with 2 Aleves, a ThermaCare heating my belly, and grande soy green tea latte.  I know it’s a little late to throw in the soy PMS therapy, but it feels/tastes good.  It’s down to the nagging bit, but that makes me question what it would have been without the 2 Aleves.

Is it really going to be worth it, trading this for a mood swing? I really don’t want to lose the mood-swing free…nor the boobs. LOL.

What’s your strategies to deal with your cramps?

Coming up for air

…figuratively and literally.

It’s been a crazy week at work that ended with Talk Like A Pirate and bridal shower Friday in the office.  I threw some mean party, y’all!

Pirate by day and zombie by night, later on on Friday night, I trekked down to Irvine to practice with Thrill the World OC at Atomic Ballroom.  They have a big group going.  LA Team: We have to catch up!

My right shoulder-neck muscles hated me.  So did my thighs.  (Lots of squats and deep knee bends in this dance!)

Saturday, off to Brenda and Jon’s reception at Astor Classics.  Awesome collection of everything from antique phones, model trains, to classic cars. It was a low key, super casual event.  Pretty much it’s a big family gathering with food and wine not cooked by the bride and beer not brewed by the groom.  No dancing. No pomp.  It was fun just sitting around and yapping with our friends.

Sunday, Brandon and I vegged in a grand style.  The usual hefty breakfast and the rest of the day foraging for snacks in the fridge and the pantry to call a meal.  Hehe.

Monday, we worked.  I started with a few sneezes around the office.  The inner ears didn’t start itching until I got back from lyrical jazz with Sizzle.  Since Debi wasn’t there, it was a one-on-one class.  Much awesomeness! We did Martha Graham style choreography to Lion King theater show soundtrack.  Lots of twisting and jumping.

Both sides of my neck and shoulders now hate me too.

But this morning, I could barely opened my eyes.  My nose started to stuff up around 3 a.m.  I didn’t get much sleep.  And my entire body ache in a way that I can’t really tell it was the Martha Graham’ing or something else.  I decided to stay home.

Here I am, giving you guys a catch up post as I’m slowly waking up from the Benedryl long nap and still fighting the haze.  It seems to be a horrible allergy attack than a cold.  I’m so drowsy right now so I can’t really tell…

Excuse me.  I think the couch is still calling.