Category: General Musing

Tomorrow.

Is.

The.

Day!

Wish me luck, everyone!

If you leave.

Take my breath away.

Living on a prayer.

Take on me.

The last four songs my Zen randomly picked before I got to my building this morning.  At this rate, I started to feel awkward not having my leg warmers on and sort of expected to see the VERY young Tom Cruise in his tighty whitey, socks and shirt sliding past the door when my elevator opens.

And yes. I really do have those songs in my MP3 collection.

It’s 6:40 a.m.  It’s still pitch black outside.

And yes.  I’m already in the office.

What’s wrong with this picture???

Oh well.  11 more days to the Big Gala.  7 of those are working days.

I can do this.

I. Can. Do. This.

50 days have passed since my mom passed away.

My dad and brothers went to feed the  bedridden monks at Chulalongkorn hospital in my mom’s honor.  She liked to do that.  (Oh yes, and the money you donate to the Thai Red Cross does go there as well.)  And as I mentioned, Aunty Tim, May, Brandon and I went to Wat Pathammachat to pray and to feed the monks, the healthy ones that is.

50 days also marks the point where we can come out of mourning.  I have been wearing black, white and grey clothing since mom passed away.  Thai people called it “Wai Took” or “wear your grief”.  The only day I didn’t wear the mourning color was the day we went to “float” her remains.  We were supposed to be happy for her then.  At least on the outside.  My brothers and I originally weren’t going to “Wai Took”.  Mom didn’t want us to be sad for her.  But my dad went ahead with it and so I decided to do the same.

Wednesday was my first day in color.  I wore my favorite outfit of brown polo shirt and brown and pink stripe pants.  A good start on getting back on the color side of things.

Not until I got on the bus this morning did I realize that I was once again in my desaturated hues.  Apparently I just reached for my usual black top and charcoal pants.

It’s so odd to have to think about color now.

I wonder if switching my wardrobe would make me feel less empty inside.

And just for that, tomorrow I’m going to wear my new–well, as of this last trip–red striped Esprit shirt I wore to my mom’s last boat trip.  She would’ve loved that shirt.

That ought to have been what I wore the first day out of mourning.  But hey, it’s never too late to start healing.  Even if it’s from the outside in.

If my computer runs the DVD/CD burner program once, not only it wouldn’t open again after I close it, but somehow it causes Photoshop to not launch.

So, here I went, rebooting.  While waiting for it, I glanced at the few pictures of my mom on my wall.

I went into Nhien’s office and cried.  Just a little bit.

But I mean, I was just rebooting the computer, for god’s sake!  I mean, what the heck?

Grief is fucking sneaky.

…oh god. My social calendar is about to run off the frickin’ track.

Hi. I’ve just gotten home tonight after a happy hour with my coworkers and some other new friends like El Heffe, Robb and Al the Dancing Fools from Girls Night Out, and newer friends I made at the bar, Joe Trojan and Morgan the Hater. I even ran into that one dude who came out drinking with us once at the Edison…whatever his name was. (Sorry, man.)

So yeah. Last Friday, I was turning into a pumpkin somewhere on the 605 after dropping Celeste off. We had a blast at girls night out. I have some pictures from the night, but nothing incriminating…because lord knows who read this thing. Hehe.

5 nights later, I’m back in Downtown, having a great time, getting to know people at the Library Bar. Mike the Owner and Carlos the Bartender are the coolest dudes. Ever. Love them boys! Our usual group came down, had a blast and left by 7:30, leaving behind me, Celeste and her posse Kim and Ernie. And I drove the gang home.

Well, there went Hump Day. 🙂

Friday night, 18 of us are going to see Avenue Q at the Ahmanson.

Saturday night, as much as I’d love to stay home and watch USC play Stanford, I’ll be in Fullerton at the annual Orange County Police Canine Association’s Benefit Show in Fullerton. (You should come! It’s a LOT of fun.) Oh, and I got invited to 3 other things on that same day about the same time. The gods of my social life totally had too much coffee.

Sunday, I managed to get a handful of former colleagues from the dot com days to gather in Santa Monica.

Monday morning, off to the temple with Aunty Tim to commemorate my mom’s 50th day of passing. Actual day would be Wednesday, but I have Monday off. Columbus Day, baby! Gotta love being on County schedule.

And then the rest of the week is crazy, crazy, FUCKING CRAZY work schedule. Less than one month now to my gala event! With the exception of Wednesday menu tasting at the hotel. THAT, I’m actually looking forward to.

Anyways. Rude Cactus was talking about not having anything to post on his site today. But hey, he has a hell of a lot more readers/commentors to keep the thread going over there.

Me? I got too much to talk about and so little time.

But y’all help me on this one and remind me to tell you about my dream the other night about Michael Weatherly aka Tony DiNozzo from NCIS, okay? Remind me. Promise? Good.