Office Music Hi-“Jack”

Jack FM is our office radio as it has been since I started working here 4 years ago. It’s a great station to have for white noise: classic rock on random rotation. After all, “playing what we want,” is Jack FM’s slogan.

However, when it’s the only station you listen to 5 days a week, 8 hours a day, for four years, you’d notice that it’s the same damn catalog playing in different order.

We lost count of all the times Hazel would whistle the intro to “Patience,” or I would break into basic “Beat It” moves in the middle of the hallway, or both of us would join in the chorus of “Bohemian Rhapsody.”

And then there are my daily misheard lyric collection that seems to entertain Jack’s social media person.

To clarify: I hear “Dirty deeds, done dirt cheap” as “Thirty deep, Thunder sheep.”  “And the girl in the corner said boy I want to warn you, it’ll turn into a ballroom blitz.” Nope. It’ll turn into “bottomless.” And who the fuck know that it’s “The Blitzkrieg Bop” the Ramones were singing? “Biscuit Bob” makes a lot more sense, don’t you think?


While there are songs I thoroughly enjoy, there are also songs which I didn’t know I could come to hate. I mean, again, you hear these songs once in a while, they’re great. But when you found something in them that bothers you, and you keep hearing it every day of the week, you’d come to hate them too.

Let’s start with “Fool in the Rain” by Led Zeppelin. I love the music so much, but Robert Plant’s warbles at the chorus drive me ABSOLUTELY. BONKERS. It’s like he’s a little off, or maybe it’s an intentional melodic dissonance. Either way, it’s  my daily nail on a chalkboard, this one. But goddamn it, I can’t stop singing that rift!


And then “All of My Love”? The chorus does not sound pleading or emotional, Robert. That’s whining. You’re a grown ass man. Stop whining.


Next up is Heart. I never thought I could hate Ann Wilson’s vocal. But after a few hundred times of high pitch “tryyyyyy to understand, tryyyyyyyyyyyy to understand, try try try to understand,” fuck you, Ann and your fucking “Magic Man.” I will NOT try to understand shit.


I also don’t go “Crazy On You” either. I’m only going craaaaaaaaazy on you to shut the fuck up.


And piece de resistance, I am sure it is the most hated song of all times, B-52’s “Rock Lobster.” I mean, c’mon! Melodic dissonance of the worst kind, not to mention…what the fuck is happening in this song?!?!?!


At least once a day, you guys. For four years.

We finally asked someone about changing the station last week, and we learned that nobody has ever requested station change before. Apparently, the daily classic rock torture seems to only affect us in marketing because us worker bees are quiet. The sales floor is always buzzing with phone calls and conversations so they don’t really hear the radio and therefore it’s not an issue.

We didn’t think our request would be answered. I mean, it’s been at least 4 years of that station and who knows how long it’s been playing before I got there. But sometime last week, we started to hear some current Top 20.

Our PA is now playing MYfm, a pop station that plays hits from the 1990s to today.

There may not be spontaneous Bohemian Rhapsody rock-out, but so far we caught ourselves holding back from going full Adele or Kelly Clarkson this week.

This could turn out to be awesome. Because JT in a loop is better than all those songs above once a day.


What are you listening to at work?

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