OakMonster’s Den

Ah Splenda. Finally a fake sugar that doesn’t leave a bad after taste. I am not a diet soda drinker, but I wouldn’t turn away something that is sweetened by Splenda, or using it to flavor some bland iced tea.

I don’t know if anyone else react that same way to Splenda. But after a can of 7-Up Plus, my body is SCREAMING for real sugar. I am diving into the chocolate bowl here at work. Nothing sounds good to snack on except sweet stuff.

Perhaps it’s just my sugar processing body freaking out by sugar substitute. My poor body is saying, “Hmm…I tasted sweet stuff. I think tha’ts sugar. But there is no sugar here. Where the fuck is the sugar??? THERE IS NO FUCKING SUGAR!!!”

*UPDATE* After dinner with a pint of Black & Tan, I have to top it of with a few bites of Baskins Robbins delectible Creme Brulee ice cream.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm….sugar.

Merlin, my royal blue 96 Corolla, is in the shop this morning. He has been choking at start for about month now. At first I thought it may be the battery again, but when the radio comes blaring in, and he didn’t do the click click click click sound like when the battery went out, I knew it was something else. He just plain wouldn’t turn over. But, a few seconds later, he would pick up and purrs like a kitten all over again. Merlin has been like this for about a month.

It’s a hit-or-miss situation. I could go days before he stuttered a few times before he caught second wind a few minutes and a brief prayer to my protective golden Buddha in the car later. Brandon has only encounter such occurance once.

And then this Saturday, Merlin just threw the hissy fit at Brandon and refused to turn over. After a few hours, I came back to him with a phone ready to dial AAA for a tow, and managed to coaxed him into starting up.

And now, it’s a waiting game. I can’t get to work or anything. *Sigh*

The upside to this is a comforting confirmation that buying a Toyota is the best decision I’ve made. This thing is about 10 years old. In the 4 years that I have him, Merlin has spun out on the 10 on ramp and went over 2 medians, and been crashed into on the driver’s side door. This starter is the first major mechanical failure. Ever.

There’s a reason why Corollas are the choice for Bangkok’s taxi cabs.

Yeah, chalk that up to Brandon’s 12 year-old Ford Explorer. That thing is not going to last much longer.

I am attending a workshop to help me write MY story, my experience as an immigrant, in order to express myself better and to let my voice be heard by Americans.

Instead, a few nights ago I posted my opinion and sarcasm on a Thai Students Association message board, I got shot down, pretty much booed off stage for having an opinion and poking fun at the male population in a satiric sort of way. And soon after, the post has been deleted. (But not gone, y’all. By the way, original topic was a job posting indicating “Male only” for a cell phone sales person.)

It’s ironic that I don’t think Americans would have a problem with what I have to say. It’s my own people who are not listening to me because I’m a Thai FEMALE.

As much as I love my motherland, and would like to return there someday, THIS is one of the reasons I am here in the “land of the free”. To be able to express myself. To let my voice be heard and not stifled by chauvinistic culture.

Amazing how the close-mindedness follows you even when you are in a free country. These people are here to learn new things and open their minds, and yet with all the opportunities offered to them, they can’t even find their way out of the cultural paperbag, and beating up other people for it.

Tragic.

Is it entire selfish of me to come home at 10:30 and all I wanted was to write on a blog and have 3 Oreo cookies and milk while my hubby hinted at me 3 times he was going to bed?

Let’s see.

1 hour commute to work at 7:30 a.m.
Worked from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m.
Attended an autobiographical workshop from 7:30-9:30.
Dropped off 2 girls from the workshop at their apartments around USC.
Got home at 10:30.

So 10 minutes of me time. I can live with that.

So we blew $70 on 10-week of yoga classes Brandon never attends. And so far, I blew $21 on the classes I missed.

And now I’m trading in the rest of the classes, all $32, to attend a 10-week writing/performing arts workshop that is supposedly free. So the workshop will actually cost me $32 plus the optional parking at USC campus.

Remember when I mentioned “My Own Story” workshop a while back? Alex is doing one at USC starting tomorrow night. He called me as I was coming home from work today.

7:30-9:30 p.m. at USC, 10 Thursday nights and final performance on Friday April 22. (Save the date already y’all!) We’ll see what kind of things I’d ended up doing.

In the meantime, walking up and down the hill between the parking lot and work is my only workout salvation.

This week long stuffy nose/plugged up sinus is getting very VERY old.

First it was the cold I fought off last weekend. 7-days to be exact. And then the rain came, so the allergies also contributed to further stuffing up my nose. It was cold-related stuffy, and now it’s itchy, sneeze-fest runny nose.

You know it’s bad when you are using Kleenex with lotion–a glorious gift from heaven’s above–and your nose still gets so raw it cracks and bleeds.

I have a patch in my right nostril, at the tip of my nose where one might have a nose ring, that if I don’t apply lotion to it every 4-6 hours would crack and bleed. And after this weekend, I have yet another raw spot on the floor of my left nostril. It hurts when I touch either spot, but I cannot not touch my nose because I constantly have to blow my nose because a) I sneeze, b) my nose is suddenly runny after such sneeze, and c) at some point I’m so stuffed up I don’t know what else to do.

At least it’s not Rudolph-red all the time. I’m already embarrassed enough walking around sniffling. Sometimes my nose would make a sound like a snort because the stuffiness suddenly freed up. It’s so embarassing!

This is when I wish I have Michael Jackson’s nose. I would LOVE to be able to just pull my nose out so I can breathe freely while at home, and then put it back on when I get out of the house.

Today has been the first day I haven’t taken anything for my stuffy nose. Well, I did take Alevert but that’s for the itchy eyes and nose; it does NOTHING for stuffy nose anyway. I guess I’ll mix me some Sudafed night time sinus or something and go to sleep.

I pray it gets better tomorrow.

Dad called this morning. Mom will not need chemo after all. The doctors are confident that they have it all. Since the lymph nodes were untouched, they thing this is it.

Camp Khun Noi continues to wreak havoc at the hospital for a few more days though. Mom is scheduled to return home on Monday.

It’s 7:30 p.m. -ish. I’m about to go to bed. Skipping dinner and all that.

Oh yeah. The rain made me miss yoga. I left the parking lot in Downtown LA at 5:20. I got on the 110 on Exposition by USC, my new route, at 6:00 p.m. It was the street traffic trying to get to Flower that killed me. And then it’s the usual crawl out of Downtown-ish area half way to the 105 before it cleared up. And then it was slow but going through from the 105, and free for all on the 605. I got home at 6:50. No time to get to yoga.

So much for leaving early to get to yoga on Thursdays.

Lung cancer. I still couldn’t wrap my mind around it. How the fuck does a non smoker in a non-smoker household get lung cancer!?

True, mom grew up in a smoker household, but no one smokes around her since she got married. Both of my brothers have smoked while in the U.S., but mom got them to buck the habit when they got home. My brother Onk (the Sooner) actually quit a while back, at least I think so. The oldest brother, Ake (the Nike Guy), according to dad still smokes when he’s not at home.

And then there’s dad and his sick sense of humor. He said he told Ake to stop smoking. To some extreme Buddhist, smoking is a sin. Pretty much anything excessive is a sin, and smoking, being an addictive substance, causes excess. Anyhoo, dad’s theory is that Ake’s smoking creates bad karma, but instead of coming back straight to him, it is so bad it comes to mom in order to make him suffer more than if he’s the one getting the cancer. Quit it, son.

*sigh*

Had a few sentence exchange on IM with Ohm, my mom’s best friend’s son. He said he was on the phone with my mom a second ago, but someone else is talking to her now. I didn’t ask where he was at. So yeah, mom is back on her social schedule already and she hasn’t even left the hospital yet.

That is a REALLY good sign.

Bad news: The tumor in my mom’s lung is indeed cancer.

Good news: The tumor was removed along with 2 sections of the lung (out of 10, that is). The doctors think they got all of it out, hence 2 sections instead of one. Although it was near the lymphnodes, which was our biggest concerns, it didn’t get there. So as far as they know, they got everything. Mom will have to go through a less-aggressive chemo/radiation what have they just to make sure the cancer is all gone.

I got to talk to her briefly this morning. I made her promise to never EVER withhold information from me ever again. She did this once before many years back when they found a lump in her breast which turned out to be just a cyst. She found out the same week I was started this new job so she didn’t want me to worry. Dad ratted her out as she went into surgery 2 nights ago.

Anyways, her friends have established “Camp Khun Noi” at the hospital, taking turns hanging out with her. My brother said it was like a slumber party every night, at least one friend stays with her, and the rest hang out until they kick them out.

I told her we both have one more thing in common now. Both of us have some funky ass lung issue. She told me to not tell any more jokes because it hurts to laugh.

Whoever came by to read and helped me in praying, thank you.

My mom has just gotten out of surgery to have a lump in her lung removed. I didn’t know about this until last night. We’ll hear more later on tonight (their afternoon).

Will write more later. But in the meantime, if you come by here, please help me pray.

Thanks.