Equal Opportunity Offender
I’m one of those fortunate enough to have and hang out with diverse groups of friends, both in real life and out here in the blogosphere and twitterverse.Â All of them different shapes and sizes in colors of the rainbow with even larger variety of interests and points of view.Â All have great sense of humor and never take anything too seriously.
But those we pull no punches on the most are Brandon’s circle of friends.Â The boys have known each other since high school and once we’re welcomed to the family, you’re also fair game for endless teasing and good natured banters.
For example, we were over at James and Aurora’s for pizza on Friday night.Â Just so you know, James has always been the token Jew of the gang while I’m the token Asian.Â Well, then again, you could be token anything in this group. A token redhead. A token happa.Â A token Marine. A token Superman (Justin is a Marine veteran amputee AND an ER doctor in residency AND his wife is pregnant. So there, Superman!)Â So that’s always fun.
But anyways. On with the show.
Bob was going over what was in the pizza order James placed that he had picked up.Â One was mushrooms and olives and the other was pepperoni and sausage. Brandon pointed at the meat fest.
Brandon: I voted for that one.
Me: Hey, how come I didn’t get to vote?
James: Because you’re a woman.
Me: [Single finger salute]
James: AND you’re a minority.
So we grabbed our pizzas and settled down for dinner.Â James had asked for some crushed red pepper flakes.Â Aurora had set it on the table in front of me so while he was busy conversing, I started peeling the stubborn “freshness seal” off this new bottle.Â The fucker just didn’t want to come off.Â James, getting antsy for his turn at the pepper flakes, looked over.
James:Â Oakley, can I help you with that?
Oakley: No!Â I started this war and I’m going end it, goddamn it!
James: Oh, but how many LIVES do you have to ruin to win this atrocious war!?
Oakley: Just the Jews.
Payback is pretty sweet.