Heroes and Assholes

There have been more than one occasions when my bus buddies and I, the last group to get on the bus heading for Downtown LA, would get on our “full” bus to find this.

Is your lunch comfy, jerk?

When I say our bus is full, it means there maybe just enough seats for the last 3-4 of us to sit down and then that’s it.

This guy here would sit just like this with his lunch on the seat.  He would WATCH us scan for seats and not move a muscle.  Until we go up to him to ask him for the seat, he would keep it right there on the seat.  Just like that.  He wouldn’t even attempt to try to move his lunch to clear up a seat when people get on the bus like most decent people would do.

On those occasions, I would make a point to go straight for that motherfuckin’ seat.  Last time, I didn’t even ask, “Can I sit here?” but “Can you move your lunch?”.

Every morning I see him, I swear to god it’s like this.  Given, some of us with much possessions would put our crap on the seat too. But this is a fucking brown bag, dude. Put it on our fucking lap.

Our bus is a commuter bus with limited run.  Most of us see each other everyday.  Some of us even go out to dinner off the bus…yeah, that’d be me and my little gang.

So we have come to identified who are decent people and who are complete asshats.

For example, a few weeks ago the earlier of the two buses home was broken down.  The first bus home is notorious for being crowded all the time since they cut the second bus out of our route.  By the time our usual last bus picked everyone up, it was reported that people actually had to stand on the way home.  I wasn’t on the bus but my friend Ana was, and she was the last one getting on the standing room only bus.

I knew exactly who on my last bus would give up their seats for Ana and any other women. She confirmed it.  There were more guys who wouldn’t give up their seats that day for anybody.

Fuck, man. I gave up my seat for an old lady on an 1-hour-ride sardine-can MTA bus before when all the dudes just stared ahead. (And then they stared at ME for giving up said seat.)  An hour standing isn’t bad. Find some balls and be a man.

In situations like these is when you find out who the good people are.

Chivalry isn’t dead, yet.  My congratulations and utmost respect to all the parents who raise their sons right.

Like this guy at my Starbucks this morning.

He already went through the door when he saw me approaching many steps away.  He took a step backward, out of the line, to open the door for me.

Now, that was very sweet of him.

So, when he was ready to pay for his coffee, I handed my card to the cashier instead.  For a second, I didn’t think he knew what just happened.  LOL.  When he figured it out, of course, he wouldn’t let me pay for his coffee but I insisted.

“You made my day. I’m making yours,” I said.

Now, you go out and make someone’s day.  Even if it’s just holding the door open.


  1. Amy P.   •  

    Great stories, Oakley. I feel your frustrations.

    I hope you’re right, that chivalry is not dead. When I was pregnant in Bangkok the people who would let me sit were all women. I guess the men all simply thought I was a fat farang.

    The only thing about the Starbucks instance – that guy had real guts. There are feminists out there who would beat this poor guy down for holding open a door for them and for showing them one iota of gentlemanly gesture.

    I find it extremely charming and adore men who treat us like ladies. It is in this way that I hate the feminist movement for ruining most men from ever trying it.

  2. oakmonster   •  

    Amy: Feh. (Most) Thai men. Don’t get me started. LOL.

    Brandon says the same thing. He’s not happy about getting that treatment, but he still opens doors, pulls out your chair and gives up his seat. Because his mama raised him right. 😉

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