OakMonster's Den

I went online to shop for an item I needed for the kitchen that I couldn’t seem to find in the stores.  [I can't say what the item is until it is given. Read on to find out why.]  My friend @MacabrePhotog was the one who inspired me to get one of these, but he himself does not have one.

When I tweeted him that I bought him something, he was quite surprised.  Another friend chimed in asking it was because his birthday was in a couple of months.

Nope. I don’t need an occasion to buy a friend something.

This notion of a gifting without an occasion was quite new to @MacabrePhotog.  He sent me a message later saying that he couldn’t remember the last time someone bought him something for no reason.

Welcome to my circle of friends, I told him.

I have made some new friends this past year or so.  And they haven’t yet gotten used to the fact that I’m quite good at random gifting.

Old friends know that I would come back from a farmer’s market with the last of this season’s Asian pears because I know they like them; that I would turn up with extra cream puffs if I ever go down to Beard Papa’s; or that I would make extra meatballs so the new moms could have them later.

Yet another trait I’ve picked up from my mother.

As long as I remember, my mom and her friends have always picked up something for each other when they were out somewhere.  I’m not talking about souvenirs from far away places–but yes, we received those too–but from a trip to the mall or a stroll through a market.

Bags of mandarin oranges were messengered over from Aunty Rae’s office–because she found a great deal from a fruit vendor when she was out to lunch.  Aunty Sida’s driver dropped off barbecued duck for our dinner since she was at the restaurant that’s famous for duck.  Mom just sent some tote bags she picked up from today’s shopping trip out with my brother as he headed to the sports club to hand it to Aunty Jim.

You get the idea.

Mind you, this was even before cell phones.  They did manage to call each other before stuff get sent over.  But a lot of the times, things would just show up.

Even while I was away in the U.S., I could come home in the summer to find a pile of Thai souvenirs my mom had collected for me to take back to give to people for Christmas.  And 1/3 of that pile would be from the aunties who thought of me while they were out shopping.  Not to mention something else they had gotten for me specifically.

Buying a treat for your friends once in a while never hurt anybody…as long as you can afford it, of course.

That was the message I got from my mom and her friends.  My mom never really taught me to do this.  I just learned from watching her and the aunties.

One of the very last things I got to do with her before she had the stroke, and eventually passed away, was to hit the mall with the aunties.  It was in February and the mall was full of Valentine’s Day stuff.  My mom sent me slinking off to another cashier station to buy everyone a red carnation each. (”But mom, there are ROSES!”  “The roses are too pricey. The aunties will yell at you for wasting money if you get those. Get the carnations!”)

Aunty Sida outdid us by later passing around bright red hand towels with “love” printed on them to everyone.  But we didn’t even see her buy anything!  The trick was that she spotted them on the way to the restroom.   She had them held, then texted her driver to buy them up while we were in a different section of the mall!  LOL

Now I found myself wandering through Target, calling my friend Aurora to ask what size shirt do you think our friend Jim wears because I found a $5 Captain America t-shirt he’d love.

I’m a lot more like my mom that I thought.

Oh, and if you’re thinking I would be driving Brandon crazy with my shopping for other people, guess again.  The mister does the same thing. 

When disaster strikes somewhere in the world, if the media and celebrity is on board especially, suddenly you see the surge of donations and fundraisers everywhere.

But what about the everyday?  Where did that overflowing of generosity and kindness go?

Last week, my bus buddy was sitting with a bunch of other commuters waiting for the bus.  There was no room to sit so I was standing around the corner.  Once these folks got up to get on their bus, I moved in to sit down. There was a purse laying next to my bus buddy and I knew for sure that wasn’t hers.

I asked anyway, “That’s not your purse, is it?”

My bus buddy gasped. “Oh my gosh! I think that lady left her purse!”

A young Asian chick standing right by turned to me, “Oh yeah, she went on to that bus a second ago.”

My bus buddy and the Asian Chick kept looking at the purse and looked around.  None of them wasn’t going to pick it up, it seemed.

So I did.

The Asian chick put her nose to her blackberry and started walking away.  With much interest, my bus buddy watched me moving in to investigate the purse that laid right next to her.

It’s like watching “What would you do?” show on ABC.  This is the show that fake a situation to see how people would react.  At this juncture, it would’ve been a show where nobody was going to do anything.

I went through the purse, found a wallet with all kinds of IDs with no cash or credit card. There was a cellphone holder in the purse and fortunately no actual phone itself.  So at least she has her phone.  I found her insurance cards with her company on it.  While on my bus, I looked up the company and and called.  I told the receptionist I had recovered this lady’s wallet.  She gave me the lady’s cell phone number and took mine.

My bus buddy signaled at me from the back of the bus to see if I actually made a connection with the purse owner, and I nodded.

The following morning, the purse lady called me and we met at Starbucks.

Apparently, she was on the phone talking to someone the entire time and didn’t realize one of her many bags had slipped off her shoulder, and soon after that her batteries went dead.  That also explained why the neither the receptionist or I could get a hold of her that evening.

“Can I hug you?” she asked.  LOL.

Now, of all of this ordeal, here’s what  I don’t understand.

Both my bus buddy and the Asian chick were just staring at the purse.  Neither one was going to pick it up.  I mean, what if I wasn’t there?  They were just going to leave it there?

I mean, the Asian chick definitely was going to leave it there since my bus buddy sits right next to it, I’m pretty sure. She was already started to move away after she told us, people who stood next to the purse, that she had seen the owner left to get on the bus.

Would you want someone to look on by if that was YOUR purse?

This isn’t even Haiti, folks. It’s somebody you stood next to not more than 5 minutes ago.

I’ve seen this similar thing happen before.  Someone dropped something without knowing it. 10 people saw it and nobody was going to tell that person until one brave soul did.  A person came running to the bus yelling for it, 10 people turned to look and heard him but did nothing.  Once in a while, someone helped yell or wave or something but not always the case.  On the crowded bus, nobody was getting up for anybody.

Seriously. Where did the human decency and kindness go these days?  We’ve become such a “Me Me Me” society. I mean, even the giving to the disaster, for some people, it’s  because it’s trendy at the time, not about they actually care.

Thailand had a celebrity-packed fundraiser for Haiti with drew quite and outrage. Um, helloooo there are Thai people who need help just as much and you’re sending your money where?

The giving and the kindness suddenly become a hip thing to do; not THE thing to do.

I’m sure there are still decent human beings out there who would always do the right thing and step up to help.  I know at least 3 guys on my bus who would’ve given up their seats if the bus is full. I know that Brandon and Justin and his friends would step up to help those in need of help.

I mean, yesterday we were walking back to our car at the farmers market. A lady was loading stuff into the truck and there was a huge cart full of stuff on the floor next to her.  Brandon gave me the keys to the car and he himself ran over to the lady to help her put all of that into the truck.  Loads of people walked by doing nothing.

These little moments when a door is held open, a dropped item returned, or a seat given up that restores my faith in humanity.  These moments are what keeping me from becoming a complete misanthrope.  (Right now, I’m just a little bitter, heh.)

How about you? Have you seen any act of kindness recently? Or perhaps you’ve done something good yourself?

There have been more than one occasions when my bus buddies and I, the last group to get on the bus heading for Downtown LA, would get on our “full” bus to find this.

When I say our bus is full, it means there maybe just enough seats for the last 3-4 of us to sit down and then that’s it.

This guy here would sit just like this with his lunch on the seat.  He would WATCH us scan for seats and not move a muscle.  Until we go up to him to ask him for the seat, he would keep it right there on the seat.  Just like that.  He wouldn’t even attempt to try to move his lunch to clear up a seat when people get on the bus like most decent people would do.

On those occasions, I would make a point to go straight for that motherfuckin’ seat.  Last time, I didn’t even ask, “Can I sit here?” but “Can you move your lunch?”.

Every morning I see him, I swear to god it’s like this.  Given, some of us with much possessions would put our crap on the seat too. But this is a fucking brown bag, dude. Put it on our fucking lap.

Our bus is a commuter bus with limited run.  Most of us see each other everyday.  Some of us even go out to dinner off the bus…yeah, that’d be me and my little gang.

So we have come to identified who are decent people and who are complete asshats.

For example, a few weeks ago the earlier of the two buses home was broken down.  The first bus home is notorious for being crowded all the time since they cut the second bus out of our route.  By the time our usual last bus picked everyone up, it was reported that people actually had to stand on the way home.  I wasn’t on the bus but my friend Ana was, and she was the last one getting on the standing room only bus.

I knew exactly who on my last bus would give up their seats for Ana and any other women. She confirmed it.  There were more guys who wouldn’t give up their seats that day for anybody.

Fuck, man. I gave up my seat for an old lady on an 1-hour-ride sardine-can MTA bus before when all the dudes just stared ahead. (And then they stared at ME for giving up said seat.)  An hour standing isn’t bad. Find some balls and be a man.

In situations like these is when you find out who the good people are.

Chivalry isn’t dead, yet.  My congratulations and utmost respect to all the parents who raise their sons right.

Like this guy at my Starbucks this morning.

He already went through the door when he saw me approaching many steps away.  He took a step backward, out of the line, to open the door for me.

Now, that was very sweet of him.

So, when he was ready to pay for his coffee, I handed my card to the cashier instead.  For a second, I didn’t think he knew what just happened.  LOL.  When he figured it out, of course, he wouldn’t let me pay for his coffee but I insisted.

“You made my day. I’m making yours,” I said.

Now, you go out and make someone’s day.  Even if it’s just holding the door open.

Holy CRAP! It’s all ready been a week?!

My god. Am I a bad blogger!

But I promise to have something much more entertaining than my weekly food journal in a day or two.

For now, on to Meatless Tuesday.

*

Breakfast:

• Open faced “grilled cheese” sandwich: one slice of 7-grain bread, buttered, topped with slices of one whole vine-ripen tomato, sprinkled with Nature’s Seasons seasoning blend, and a few slices of snack-sized cheddar cheese, toasted in the toaster oven until the cheese is melted.
• A mug of full-leaf oolong tea.
• Mid-morning snack: 2 whole grain crackers (they’re like 2.5 inch across!) from Fresh & Easy with generous schmear of whipped cream cheese, my mid-morning snack of choice these days.

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Lunch:

• A bowl of vegetable chili based on the recipe in Food & Wine magazine (which I will blog about later).  In that: heirloom carrots, daikon, red bell peppers, kidney beans, hominy, onion, garlic, chili powder, cumin, and generous shakes of Chipotle Tobasco.  And a piece of 7-grain toast.
• Late dessert/afternoon snack: a Godiva dark chocolate truffle.

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Dinner:

• Because it was a buy one get another one for $2, I got 2 rustica pizzas from Z Pizza: Moroccan (egg plants, pine nuts, feta, basil pesto, caramelized onion) and Mediterranean (artichoke hearts, feta, roasted red peppers, greek olives, pili pili oil).  I ate a few squares out of each.
• A glass of organic peach oolong iced tea.

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Satisfaction level: Meat? What meat?  Nope.  Didn’t miss it one bit.  And I was full all day.

Thoughts: It’s getting easier and easier each week, I have to tell you.  I even didn’t miss the meat too much today.  But I did have an egg for breakfast.  I did crave some proteins for dinner but I didn’t go for my usual burger or ribs, but salmon.  A little weird, I know.  I’m sure I’m going to want me a juicy burger in a few days.

I’m also more conscious now of what I’d eat on a Meatless Tuesday and Brandon has been helpful in keeping me in check on that too.  He’d try to help me think of places I could get something meatless to eat at.

Now, I’ve been thinking about it today that since I’m doing this a Buddhist reason, perhaps I should also not do alcohol on Tuesdays as well to make the whole religious day out of it.  After all, abstaining from alcohol is one of the Five Precepts a good Buddhist should follow.

By not eating meat/eggs on Tuesday, and having not kill anybody, abstaining from taking life is checked off the list.  Abstaining from alcohol? One day a week, I can do that.  Abstaining from sexual misconduct is everyday…although I wonder if lusting after  Taylor Lautner and/or Sam Worthington or dreaming about Jason Mraz counts.  Abstaining from taking what is not given, no klepto here so check.  And finally, abstaining from false speech aka lying. Well, that might be a little hard to swing in a corporate world, but we’ll do our best, won’t we?

Alright. It’s decided. Tuesdays will be meatless AND dry.

Oh boy.

Oh hell yes.2,300 or so on paper but it felt/looked like 6,000 out there in the plaza!  Brandon shot over 700 pictures and I had another 200.  (What a trooper he is, braving the Blue Line and all!)

Worldwide, last counted, 23,000 people.

What a moment.  What an adventure!

You can’t see me in this clip though they did close up on me for the “Coming up next” before this section.

Life is slowly getting back to normal.  I have to lead my little Long Beach team to perform on Halloween at Halloween on Pine and that’s it for Thriller for a while.

This one I’m on the right toward the front.

“My friend is having a green wedding,” an acquaintance said.

Everyone present chimed in.  How cool!  How exciting!

Of course, being me, I piped, “Ah! Green wedding. Also known as just another wedding that cost twice as much.”

“Well, they’re using all these recycled materials and stuff.  You know, being really green about the whole process.”

I chuckled.

The acquaintance, at this point, was getting annoyed with me. “Well, she’s a very environmentally conscious person. They want their wedding to be good for the environment.”

“The bride and groom and two witnesses carpooled to the courthouse and get married by a judge, now THAT’s a ‘green’ wedding,” I added.

The acquaintance glared at me.  Someone else changed the subject.

Am I right?

You and your fiancee, 2 witnesses, your parents, and a judge.  That’s the LEAST amount of waste and carbon footprint one could generate for a wedding.

Brandon pointed out to me later when I told him about the conversation.

“Sure. What about all of the guests driving in to the wedding in their gas guzzling cars? How is your little ‘green’ wedding going to off set THAT.”

Exactly my point.

Having a “green” wedding because it’s trendy and then you go right back to live your normal, not-so-green life? What’s the point? Well, I guess with a “green” wedding, you can now show everyone just how socially responsible you are.

After all, for some people, being socially responsible is not something they really want to be, they do it because it’s just another fad.

That’s just me.  What do you think?

Happy Earth Day.

I’m not much of an environmentalist but I’m slowly becoming a plastic bag usage nazi.

I have canvas bags in my car and use them for my grocery shopping everywhere, and I refuse to take any plastic bags whenever I can carry my own loot out of the store…which was met with a LOT of  “Are you sure?”

Yes I AM sure I can carry my prescription and a bottle of Nyquil out on my own.

Yes I AM sure a loaf of bread, a pack of sliced cheese, and 2 tomatoes won’t need a bag.

Yes I AM sure I won’t need a bag for ONE bottle of Dr. Pepper, doesn’t matter what size it is.

It’s not just us shopper who need to change. It’s the shopkeepers as well.

I do recycle bottles and cans at home because we have a recycling trailer thingy close by.  And with the amount of sodas and Yakult consumed by Brandon and I, respectively, it would be ridiculous not to recycle those.

However, if our apartment has a full recycling trash pick up like those in private homes, I would recycle everything possible.  I think it is worth the time to recycle.

Finally, my biggest environmental guilt.

I am a big guilty for not bringing my coffee mug down to Starbucks.  I was doing that for a while and ended up with up to 3 unwashed mugs on my desk.  Now that I’m doing Starbucks latte type only once a week, I probably should pick that habit up again, and bring a plastic bottle in for my occasional iced tea treats.

Now only if we can do something about garbage BAGS we put all this stuff in.

And it wouldn’t be Earth Day without this.

It was hot as hell at AIDS Walk Long Beach. But we did it.

Yey, us!

The green X would be me and my friend Master Greg at George Michael concert next Friday, courtesy of the local news radio station whose promotions website I visited weekly to register to win something.

Oh, and today I bit into what looks to be a little pearl in my fried oyster. So technically I won something twice this week.
As a fan of Eli Stone, I BELIEVE!

So the Lesser Weevils had our little fundraiser dinner tonight at Thai Issan in Cerritos.  Samone and Tom, the owner, graciously donated 10% of our tab to AIDS Walk.

And they are promising 15% donation from now until June 27, one week after the walk (which I can still turn my money in, I think) at their other restaurant, the Delightful Crepes Cafe in Long Beach.  The Yelp review for the place is a little iffy.  Even I who had been there once think the place still needs a little work.  But they ARE working on improving the menu.  Give it a shot if you want to try something new.

Delightful Crepes Cafe
1190 Studebaker Rd
Long Beach, CA 90815

At least give a new place a try WHILE SUPPORT THE WEEVILS! Just tell your waiter that you’re supporting Oakley’s Team at AIDS Walk Long Beach, and they’ll make a note of it.

Or you can just donate to the Weevils directly and not try a new restaurant.  Up to you.  Any kind of donation helps.