August 12 was Thailand’s mother’s day and the Queen’s birthday. From what I know of mom’s conditions, I didn’t call her but I call home and talked to my dad.
“It was right for you to call here,” dad said. “She’s no longer ‘here’ with us.
But your mother’s day card got her in the middle of the week though. I showed it to her and she did look at it. I think she got it.”
Mom apparently mentally checked out when she had blood infection a few days ago. Fever spikes and what not. Jaundice indeed is setting in. Her eyes are yellow and her face is slowly going the same way.
The final prognosis confirms my internet research on liver failure. If it’s the liver alone, we have about a month. But all the complications, infections and other things, we could be anywhere between now and then.
My dad further informs me that he and my brothers, knowing what my stand is on the issue as well, decided on DNR–do not resuscitate–order. If she goes, she goes. No CPR. No “Clear!” No tubes. No putting her on machines to wait for me to get there. None of that.
If she goes, she goes.
And it’s between now and four weeks from now.
It was a miracle I could concentrate at work today. It’ll be more of a struggle as the days go by, but I have so much to accomplish just in case I have to run out the door. At least I’m occupied.
As for now, I want to go to sleep. And boy oh boy do I want that sleep. I want to just get there and stay there until I have to go home.
Like Olaina and Justin went through a few months ago, the death watch has begun for my family.