OakMonster's Den

We’re child-free by choice.

We don’t hate kids.  And we make great auntie and uncle.  We just like to play with them and hand them off to the parents at the end of the day.

We adore Brandon’s two nieces age 8 and 11.  We can hardly wait to hang out with Aurora and James’ 2-year-old Dresden and baby Chloe.  Olaina and Justin’s Ella is still too little to play with but we didn’t mind hanging out with her too.

I’m quite sure the fact that they are relations–or practically relations, our tolerance and patience for them are a lot higher than for that of complete strangers’ kids.

However, we don’t offer to baby sit the kids on our own.  Well, Brandon is okay with taking Dresden to the park for an hour or two, and Little D and I get along swell playing inside the house.  But overall, we never want to be left alone with the young ones for more than a few hours at a time before our patience run out and our heads explode.

We chose to be child-free for a reason.  And our friends know it.

Yet, it’s a constant question we have to dodge here and back in Thailand.  My dad especially.  I haven’t the heart to tell him, so my answer is usually, “I don’t have the money.”  My mom’s friends know I didn’t want kids.  Actually, and quite surprisingly, they were supportive of that choice.

I started to realize I didn’t even want kids back in college.  I still remembered the first time my ex-boyfriend mentioned our future children.  That freaked the fuck out of me out but I played along.  Hahaha. Yeah, sure, honey, a boy and a girl, right? Wonderful.  But in my head, Holy shit he already talks about KIDS?! God I can’t have kids?! I don’t want any kids!!

You can’t imagine the relief when Brandon brought up early on when we started dating that he didn’t want kids.

So far, our choice to be child-free has never been a problem in our social life because we can still hang with our friends who have kids.

We had Aurora and the kids over for dinner often.  And we were perfectly okay with going to the movies with Brandon’s nieces when we were in New Mexico.

On those certain days we weren’t up for kids, we politely decline the invitation for their company.  Most friends understand.  Some don’t.

We are child-free BY CHOICE. And that choice includes choosing to not be around a child when we don’t feel like it.  Because if we want to be with a child all the time, we would’ve chosen to have one.

We respect parents.  We do.  I mean, we can barely stand up to Dresden’s rambunctiousness for a few hours and Aurora has to do this all day with Chloe clinging on to her?  Holy crap!  And then there are friends and single parents who also work full time on top of being a mom/dad.  I mean, seriously.  How do you guys manage all of that?

Props. Mad props to you, parents.

We respect also your choice to have children. And we thank you for bringing your wonderful kids into this world and even share them with us sometimes.

We hope that you respect our choice to not have children–or not be with one when we don’t want to–as well.

Well, I still can’t get used to turning the video camera the right way.  My apology for your tilted head.

But Dresden is just too frellin’ CUTE in this!!!

Oh yeah. Friday was a HELL of a day.

It actually started Thursday night.

Thursday night

We had dinner and sampled ridiculous variety of beer with Paul and Lupe at Beachwood Barbecue. I finally had my Mac and Cheese, the BEST I’ve had and lord knows  how many sips of whats I had.  Nice and buzzed, I got home to a monstrous task of trying to watch most DVR’ed shows as I can before we get the box replaced on Friday.  And what a week to have the DVR taken away too!  Since I haven’t been home all week, Brandon practically didn’t even turn on the TV.  Everything we usually watched remain untouched all week.  I was up until 1 a.m. trying to catch up.  I got to watch the rest of House, Heroes, Lost and 2 sections of Castle before I crawled to bed.

Frakkin’ Friday

8:30 – Left the house for doctor’s office on Spring and Palo Verde in Long Beach.  Brandon was up starting to do some transfer of a week’s worth DVR’ed stuff before the cable guy gets in to replace the box.   He managed to grab NCIS, The Mentalist (Rigsby kissing the Red Head under hypnosis…AWESOME!!), and most of Top Gear Vietnam episode.

8:45 – Poked and prodded and got 2 huge tubes of blood drawn.

9:45 – Left doctor’s office. Stopped at Nick’s in Los Alamitos to pick up breakfast on the way home.

10:15 – Ran out to optometrist appointment over by the traffic circle in Long Beach.

10:30 – Air puffed into eyeballs and all that fun. Made appointment for eye dilation test and further investigation to see if I could be a candidate for laser eye surgery.

11:45 – Arrived early to Underground Salon on Stearns and Bellflower.  Brandon decided on purchasing the Samsung Omni, so I’d meet up with him at the Verizon store at 1. Kicked myself for not having thought of this before CA sales tax went up.

New hair cut

12:00 – It was decided. I was getting side-swept bang.  My stylist Shua is awesome and has fantastic sleeves.  It was kind of surreal when a blurry Elvis on her bicep was staring at me in the face.

12:45 – Walked into the Verizon store on Bellflower and Spring with 4 inches less of hair and a side-swept bang.

1:45 – Leaving Brandon alone at the Verizon store to wrap up the transfer to the Omni (with pink silicon case for me!)  to run to the dental appointment over on Paramount and Del Amo.

2:00 – Getting minor cavities fixed.

2:45 – Heading home to meet up with Brandon to go to the next appointment.

3:45 – Arrived at the next appointment at Pine and Ocean.

7:45 – Got back home.

8:00 – Wiped out.  Heard poor Wyatt was the only one at the Long Beach Tweet Up.  And we had to flake out on the pub crawl because we were too damn tired.

8:30 – Crawled into bed.

Saturday morning

…it continued.

9:00 – AIDS Ride benefit breakfast for our friend Greg at Rick & Brian’s Cafe on Redondo with James, Aurora, Lee and Dresden.

Behold, the cuteness.

11:00 – Grocery shopping. FINALLY! After weeks of not having anything in the fridge.

12:00 – Back at James & Aurora for Dresden’s delayed 1st birthday party.

4:30 – Left the party. Took a nap. Worked on some stuff.

7:30 – Left to Celeste’s birthday party.

11:00 – Crawled into bed.

Sunday

…we just hid from the world, getting ready for Monday.  Can you blame us?

Friday, the Downtown goats.

Saturday, Brandon returned and the Trojans kicked the Buckeyes’ butt up and down the field 35-3.

Sunday, catching up on TV and dinner with James, Aurora, Dresden and Lee.

Good weekend. 

LOVE

On Saturday, two major events for me that set the happy tone for the rest of the long weekend.

First, the Trojans kicked Virginia’s butt up and down the field 52-7 which put the team in #1 spot in AP poll.  Watching Mark Sanchez, our new quarterback, TACKLED some dude to block for his running back (tailback?) was just awesome.

Still high on the Trojan spirit, Brandon and I flit up to town for the wedding of our friend Elan to her beau Chris.  The wedding took place at the beautiful hidden gem of Wilshire Ebell.  Elan actually used to live just a few blocks away from the place.  And I used to live just a mile down the road and I didn’t even know this place existed.

It was no doubt a glamorous event but yet so casual and friendly, as only Elan could have done it.  Elegant without being pretentious, effortlessly glamorous. Just like Elan. 

Chris, the Berkeley educated Aussie, and Elan met in the U.K. where they currently live.  So the crowd at the wedding came from as close as a few blocks away to as far as Australia, as young as a few months old to grandparents age.  But not more than 100 people filled the ballroom and danced to the big band.

Yes, BIG BAND.  Who does that any more these days?!  What did I say about glamorous!

Since there was no topping Elan’s wedding, we took it easy on Sunday.  Brandon and I picked up some burger buns and the Fresh & Easy $4.99 grill pack and headed over to James and Aurora’s.  The big boys grilled while Dresden hung out with Aurora, her sister Lee, and I as we sang out heads off on Karaoke Revolution: American Idol Encore.  (That grill pack could’ve fed one more person, by the way.  What a deal!)

LABOR

Labor Day Monday was mildly laborious for us.  Brandon and I slept till noon, and since we weren’t sure what opened on Labor Day, we cruised around the neighborhood looking for lunch.  Paul’s Place provided the usual comfort of burgers and chili fries.

Once we got home, we dug ourselves out our laundry now that the dryer which has been broken all week is finally fixed. While on laundry watch, we played Castle Crashers on XBox Live until our hands cramped up. It hurt sooooo good!

Over dinner of Mac & Cheese and bacon, we watched In the Valley of Elah.  And that led us to…

LOSS

Paul Haggis’ war statement movie did indeed make a statement, at the very end.  One subtle scene and turn the whole movie upside down, and when the dust settles, the statement was clear.

Once again, Paul Haggis, you moved me in the way nobody else has. I was along for the emotional ride, and just when I didn’t think you’d do it, you throw the punch.  It’s so simple and subtle the statement you make, and yet so powerful it hit me right in the gut.  I couldn’t cry. I couldn’t even gasp.  I just sat there on the couch, letting the emotions wash over me and drown me in it.

My heart breaks for American soldiers everywhere.

Rent it.  Doesn’t matter what political view you have.

Oh, and you might want to follow that with something sunny just to balance things out.  It was too late for me last night to watch it, so I settled in to put laundry away to Ratatouille soundtrack instead.

Brandon and Dresden: BFF.

Upon arriving back at the house, Brandon mentioned that James needed to take a break for a while since he’s been with Dresden all day. So the boys plus Bob went to get donuts and coffee. Since neither of the girls had dinner yet, we packed Dresden in a car and headed out to pick up greasy goodness at John’s.

Dresden was happy most of the time until he realized a) the car stopped moving, and later, b) he was finally really, really hungry. Otherwise, that kid was the happiest kid on the planet the entire time.

See?

Pretty much the same way he was yesterday at Girls Night Out. Aurora, Lee, Lupe, and myself went to Joe’s Sushi with Dresden. We passed him around the table so Aurora can eat. Everyone had a different style that night. Lupe just plopped Dresden on her massive boobs.

“Oh, you wish these were working pairs, don’t you, kid?” she said at one point.

I took the walking route and gave Dresden a tour of the restaurant. Lee was more of the quietly swaying type, and managed to get Dresden to take a nap as we were paying our bills. We did really realize the true meaning of how it really does take a village to raise a child and develop a new sense of appreciation for single mom everywhere.

The nap didn’t last very long as when we got out of the car at Aurora’s, the little flirt was wide awake and smiling at everybody all over again.

“Ah, crap,” Aurora said. “He’ll be at it for another 3 hours. I’m never going to go to sleep tonight.”

Whoops.

On the same note of being supportive of people you care about, Bill wasn’t on the bus yesterday but the support for Gunny continues.

Lee on The Bus donned his USMC t-shirt although you can’t really see that on him.

I was thinking of doing the same but I figured you can’t really a shirt when the print is in the back and when we are all sitting down on the bus. So I brought mine and draped it across the chair for all to see.

Let me just say that if that commie who complained was on the bus that day, that should be a strong statement to him/her.

Gunny was very appreciative of all of our continuous support.

The four girls reunited for another girls dinner. This time, we feasted at Beachwood Barbecue.  Three of us did the appetizer-for-dinner with a skillet of the best Mac and Cheese on the planet, steamed clams, stuffed artichokes and a pot of cheese + beer fondue with lovely hush puppies, smoked meatballs, spicy sausages and some other fixings.  Aurora, who can’t even have a taste of dairy until she stops breastfeeding, nibbled on a few non-dairy items and enjoyed her plate of venison.

We had a fantastic time up until the very last bites when the Lakers took a turn for the worst, and until this dude interrupted us.

(more…)

Dresden says, “WTF…?”

Sunday was all of about the boys.

Starting with this heartbreaker.

J.C. and Joshua are in town for the week.  I stole a few hours of their time to hang out with mom and kid.  I also provided my photography service by helping J.C. take some pictures of the little speedster and capture some videos for his dad.

Erick is a medical student with the military.  Instead of going through different departments in the same hospital for rotation, he is currently on rotation in different military medical centers all over the country.  He hasn’t seen Josh in a while, so I thought it would be nice to get him a few movie clips.

I also learned Josh language and taught him a few new things.  Josh was showing me his books and one of them have animals pictures with texture of their skins to go with it.  We made animal noises as we went along.  A cow print texture. Moo!  A fluffy cat. Mow-my! (That’s his meow.)  A fuzzy ducky.  Ack! (That’s a quack.)

“Now, Joshua.  What sounds does a …” Then I flipped to the next page.

Oh.  Crap.

“…gorilla make?”

I looked up at J.C.  She looked at me.  I looked at Josh who was looking to me for an answer.

“Um.  We’ll come back to that page.  Let’s see what’s next.”

Stumped by a children’s book.  I wonder how many parents faced such dilemma.

I did come back to the book later on and teach Josh to beat on his chest and go “Rawrrr” as the sound of the gorilla.  Close enough.

Josh also showed me where his and Mommy’s and my toes are.  Our fingers. Our belly buttons.  Our cheeks.  Our ears.  As we thought we were done, Josh walked over to J.C. and put his little hand on her chest.  We thought he needed to steady himself.

But then, he turned right over to me and put his hand on my boob too.

Ladies man in the making.  Seriously.
Later that afternoon, I went with Brandon and our Erik to Sports Chalet.  Erik needed to get his bike fixed and I needed a pair of roller skates.  Yes, kids.  I picked up the classic 4-wheel white boots roller skates.  With pink wheels.  My parking lot is big enough, and I can roll with Brandon on the bike sometimes.

Then we had dinner and saw Indiana Jones.  (You’ll have my full review soon.)  We discussed the movie and the franchise on the way home, mainly about the “magical items” of each of the movies.

“Except for Temple of Doom, they were all biblical, weren’t they, the artifacts?” said Erik.  “The Ark of the Covenant.  The Goblet of Truth.”

A moment of silent in the car.

“If by the Goblet of Truth, you meant the Holy Grail, then yes.” Brandon uttered.

Somebody is confusing his Christian mythology with Harry Potter’s 4th installment.

Continuing of me spending my weekend with the boys, Brandon and I vegged and watched the last DVD of Robin Hood, BBC series, Season 1.  I am also along for the ride as Brandon plays Dark Sector.  You’d be a amaze how a fresh pair of eyes could get you out of a maze/mission you couldn’t beat the first time around. 

I hope everyone is having as much of a great weekend as I am!